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My Second Act
Welcome to my blog! Definitely better than my first Act!! You'll find my plot points, some some good lines, and so-so acting in this Second Act! Hopefully it's worth the admission ticket!! Thanks for stopping by!
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Musings on my Second Act
Posted:Oct 11, 2020 2:32 pm
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2022 11:50 am
"Life is both fucked and fuckable."

He laughed when I wrote that.

My take o.n the iconic Dickens opening line of “A Tale of Two Cities”, updated into the modern vernacular because it is a more perfect summation of my life these last few months. I mean, 2020 has crept up on al.l of us unawares, but it creeped
up &then sucker-punched me right in the gut.

For once, I’ve got a secret and it’s my secret keep or tell. I’ve kept others’ secrets, often for years, but this one? This one is mine t.o do with as I will.
So, I have t.o write about it, talk about it, blog it, vlog it, even wrote a song about it.

yeah, and b.a.d. poetry, I’ve written some really bad, drunk poetry.

This is my journey now; this road I’m meandering down.
I’m inviting you come along for the ride. I’ll try stay the course between those painted white lines on the highway; between fucked and fuckable, and hopefully discover what the new normal looks like for m.e.
20 Comments , 1 Pending
Posted:Feb 24, 2022 10:30 am
Last Updated:Feb 26, 2022 10:39 am

Yep. Tis Time! My latest post, if you want to read it, will be over at what those of us in Blogland call THE DARK SIDE!

I understand it will now be available on the mobile app. How to get there is simple: community>blogs> "check it out"
Hope to see you there!
Happy Reading!
Muah! {=}
Bathroom at the Playhouse
Posted:Feb 14, 2022 8:31 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2022 8:34 am
Not to be confused with Playroom at the Bathhouse, lol! Which could also be entertaining!

Went to a Burlesque show the other night. What absolute fun! Our friends, the musicians, wrote and starred in it. It was glorious and a bit long--over 3 hours, with 3 intermissions! Im sure they need time to put on those layers even though they come off in a snap!

Not only was it long, but it didnt start for over an hour! We lingered in the front lobby where beer and wine was served and vendors sold their burlesque-ish wares. I bought a gorgeous peacock feathered fascinator hair clip.

The first intermission had the usual line for the ladies restroom. I waited patiently for my turn. Everything came out fine. It was the second intermission where things got interesting.

No! Not for me but my boss friend came out and said irritably that two women came in to use the mens restroom!

He said Heres a row of guys at the trough and these women came in to use our bathroom while we have our cocks in hand! Its just plain RUDE!!

Naïve parochial me was aghast. Id never heard of such a thing!

[And theres a trough? Communal?]
Boss friend said itd happened to him before at some big concert about two years ago. A bunch of women came barging in to use the can and same thing, guys hanging out and women going in!

Still with my mouth hanging open as I was processing this, I said Never would I ever!! I mean, I’ve used the men’s restroom before, but only when there was no one around.

And you had a lookout, right?! he asked.

Well, yeah! Then, curious, I asked him, How old would you say they were?
Forties or younger he said.

I thought so! Damn Millenials! See? I wonder if its a generational thing. I can think of no one my age who would do that.
We should ask our very own Gen-Z person; our co-worker tomorrow.

So yesterday during a lull in customers, we posed the question to our token Gen-Zer.
Would you do that? I asked.

Well, yeah, I would!

See? Its the Meg Ryan Syndrome thats in the younger generation! Its the I-want-what-I-want-when-I-want-it thing!!
Geezus, am I being ageist?

Wait a minute said the Z-er. What if you really, really have to go? What if its diarrhea?

Nope, wouldn’t do it.

Drunk and had to go?

Nope more like Id go outside around the building before Id go in the mens.

If a guy barged into the ladies room, hed get clobbered! said Boss friend. I hate the double standard!

What do you think?
Double Standard?
Would you do it?

BTW, Im ready to try my hand at burlesque! But I need a catchy character name. Suggestions?

Im thinking Layde Godiveher? I got the hair for it!

Any other burlesque wannabes out there? What would your name be?

My Fifteen Seconds
Posted:Feb 7, 2022 7:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2022 7:24 am
American artist Andy Warhol once said, In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes." In an era of reality TV and YouTube, it appears that his prediction has come true. npr Oct 8, 2008

This past week I got to experience my fifteen seconds of fame.

It was a no makeup day as I got up and left the house early on Wednesday. Quite a rare event for me to be on the road by 7:30, but I had a dental appointment that I didn’t want to miss.

When that was over, I had some time to kill so I went to one of my fav thrift haunts to browse and see what I could find. I knew I was on a time-crunch so I looked and picked quickly before heading into work
Upon arriving at the job, I started to go in the back door of the store when a young man came out of the shop through the same door. He smiled at me and let me pass. I heard voices in the store as I walked the small hallway. As I came into the main part of the store I was greeted with lights, camera and action!

Oh shit! I forgot they were shooting a commercial here today!

As I was taking in all the young testosterone in the room, my boss joked, These guys are from that dating app I got for you! I laughed and played along, and the director asked me if I wanted to be in the shoot. I said, Really? The one day I haven’t a lick of makeup on!! One young’un replied, You look great anyway!
I laughed and said Dating app, huh? Wh, what was your name again?

I figured what the heck, so I got behind the jewelry cases as the director or assistant director explained what was going on. So when the robbers come in you just do what they tell you to do, but act real scared

The robber actors came in and were very convincing. They pointed guns in both my boss’ face and mine and yelled for me to open the fucking case! I almost broke character when I tried to pull the cases open but they were locked. They kept up the improv while my boss fidgeted with the key to open it. I emptied the case but was actually shaking the whole time!

We just did the one take, but my adrenaline was rushing for a bit afterwards. Geezus, they were great actors! Took me a while to calm down after that!

What is so amazing is the technology available nowadays to anyone that wants to make film compared to when I was growing up. Small easy to carry lights, cameras, and cell phones can capture the different angles that are needed. Replay is instantaneous on the tablet or phone. And they used just an hour or so of time for the filming. Not like the hurry up and wait that I’ve experienced before.

Photography is so amazing too! When I went in to view my proofs, my photographer friend reveled in showing me how she can change things with just the click of a button. [If only fat and wrinkles could melt away like that in real life! Lol!]

I imagine my take will end up on the cutting room floor, but that’s okay. It was fun while it lasted and it certainly made the day go by fast!

On Friday, the hubs and I got to be in our friends music video. They had posted on social media for any of their fans to join them in the fun. We had to dress up for the event; so I wasn’t sure we would do it or not. I figured it would be a fun new-in-2022 kind of thing to do, so I thought we needed to go for it.

We met on location at the Glass Museum. A huge museum with an active glass blowing furnace where viewers can watch live action artisans at work. I was grateful it was there, because it was pretty chilly outside! I went up to the reception desk Hi there, were here for the music video The folks behind the front desk blinked at me. Uh, we have no knowledge of a video? I asked Do you mind if we look around? I know we were supposed to meet here They replied, Oh, they could be out on the deck. They have a lot of folks film and photograph there.

They let us take the elevator to the top deck. It connects to an overpass that houses some glass art installations by famous glass artist Dale Chihuly. We went across the windy walkway looking for familiar faces. There wasnt a one to be found.

We figured we got the day or time wrong. Or it got canceled on short notice.
The hubs said hed go bring the car around for us. As he did, I saw some faces that I knew. There they were! Outside! The effing shoot was OUTSIDE!! I texted the hubs that I found them and they came up to meet me. It was a cold embrace, only because it was close to snow temps out there! They had been filming at different locations around the city all day and this was to be the culminating scene in the video.

First they filmed just the hubs and I dancing. We were both wearing black and white so they spiced it up with a too small red hat for the hubs and a red boa for me. Both props kept blowing in the wind for us! It was freezing fun! Each dancing couple got their fifteen seconds of fame and then we all danced in a group shot. It was all over in less than an hour and we went to my fav Cheers pub for lunch.

Yup we were all dressed up with some place to go! Again we will probably end up on the cutting room floor, but thats okay. We made new friends and did something completely out of our wheelhouse that day.

It was a great week!
2020 vs 2021 A Comparative
Posted:Jan 28, 2022 11:07 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2022 10:54 am

Before the first month of 2022 is over, I thought I would share this reflection on my journey thus far.

Gilf and I talked for over an hour on the phone the other night. We ve decided that EVERY time we contact each other we need to turn the recorder on because every encounter has us cracking up at one point or another! It’s all fodder for the podcast! See Episode 8-The Ongoing Adventures of Milf & Gilf -- Women of a Certain Age.

I lost some of my episodes when my phone was stolen last summer. I did a remote erase of all my data and as a result lost the recording app that we used.
Do you have any idea how many recording apps are called Voice Recorder? So, try as I might, I could not find the originals in the cloud. Luckily though, I had emailed the bulk of them to Gilf so I just had to check archived emails to find some of them.
Last night was more discussion of what was next in our lives: a bit of a retrospective of the last two years, and what we would like to see manifest in 2022.
Here is the recap:


For me, no matter how traumatic 2020 was, it was actually a good year!

And the worst year!

Yep, Dickens words got me again because it truly was my personal best of times and worst of times. Everything was closed down, and fear was rampant, but I was more active, because all we could do was go for walks outside! Granted, Gilf and I would do so with drinks in hand; and we would make it as far as the bistro before we would sit and chat, but there were other walks to be had as well. The walks helped to clear my head and I enjoyed being near the water, whether at a lake, river or along Puget Sound. The seasons were much more mild that year than the next, with a warm spring, lingering summer and a beautiful Fall.

Just before everything was ordered closed in our world, my world turned topsy-turvy--finding out about my hubs infidelities and choosing to change my paradigm re. marriage and monogamy. As a result, I made the decision to join here.

What fun it was!!

Everything and everyone I met on the site was new and full of possibilities! My imagination reveled in the stories and possible meets that would happen someday with these folks! Admittedly I was a neophyte to this lifestyle and most times a bit reluctant to jump in with both feet. But there were a few seasoned folks who helped along the way, offering their words of wisdom that lit the way for me. I have moved slowly and cautiously down this road; this roller coaster track. In 2020, I met only a couple of men for actual playtime—chatted with many! At the same time, the hubs and I began to talk more earnestly in our relationship and to reconnect.

It amuses me to no end that an adult site like this actually has worked to save my marriage rather than implode it! We spent more time together doing things: building things, kayaking, talking. The imposed incarceration was good for us.

I started this blog on here--to share my story; my side of infidelity. My choices. Not only was it a form of therapy and healing for me, it also gave me an avenue to pursue my writing and storytelling, something that is deeply a part of who I am.

Gilf and I continued to share dreams and stories with each other. Creativity abounded as we conceived of the idea of a podcast for Women of a Certain Age [men invited too! ] It was going to be our happy hour that invited whoever wanted to join in and interact with our stories and lessons learned; and are still learning!


Then 2021 came with a collective sigh of relief as a new year and a vaccine was just over the horizon. Many thought it would let us all return to normal but in my world and the world at large, normalwas really a new normal. Things began to open up in my world.

Then close.
Then open up again.

I became less cautious about the virus as we got vaxxed and the numbers started going down in our area. Then, it came knocking on our door, first the hubs, then me, then our . Luckily, it was like a mild 24-hour kind of cold for me. No temp, just tired and sneezy. The only symptom was my loss of taste and smell. The only distinguishing taste I had was the olives in a dirty martini! But I lost a friend over it- not from it, but because of it. I was told if I gave her covid, she would never talk to me again. I unwittingly did, and she hasnt talked to me since.

I met more people from the site this past year. Was ghosted more than once and began to see past the newness of the lifestyle and to live the reality of it. I gave up hope on meeting most of the ones who shaped my views in the beginning of this journey, [albeit save one -- you know who you are! ] and embraced the ones who were near. [cue Crosby Stills Nash and Young’s Love the One You re With]

The reality of the lifestyle is that it takes a lot of work to do! The time, effort, and coordination with others and making it fit in with my regular life can be a bit tiresome at times. Spontaneity is out the window nowadays. I started a part-time job in addition to working my online store causing my time to meet and get together with others to be limited. Work outside the home is hard for me anyway: I kinda hate other people planning my days for me or having to be somewhere away from where I would rather be. I am the classic case of when I am at work, I dream of being somewhere else and when I am somewhere else my mind is on work.

Anyone else have that problem?

I did manage to meet more, play more and as a result define what I am wanting to experience. It varies day to day, experience to experience tho. Some days I want to retreat into myself and forget about this place; and on others, I want to embrace this sphere and all it offers because life is short-shorter for me than others!

I dont want to be the kind that has so many notches on a bedpost that it looks like a beaver carved on it [hmmm, interesting analogy I just came up with there! Lol!]. I want the experience of memories being created in and out of the bedroom.

I did have some firsts this past year: first time writing erotic fiction, first meet in a hotel, first time sex in an office, first public sex experience. No I havent shared those yet. Ive had some embarrassing moments too and NO, I will not be sharing those!

As Gilf noted about both our experiences, 2020 was about the newness and fun all around us. 2021 was more serious, more about getting to the heart of the matter.

So what will 2022 bring?

Since I am kind of an old salt on this site, well no longer the newbie that I was, I might be tad pickier in my choices. I know Ive said I may not be everyones cup of tea; but I realize that others Ive met or that have reached out to me have not been my cup of Earl Grey either!

I know I prefer reading blogs waaaayyy more than I use IM and never the cams. I did that once -- truly an eye opening experience that I can’t unsee! [Makes me wonder what constitutes sexy to some people or what is simply shock value.]

I feel a sense of freedom and inspiration in 2022, a more defined sense of it anyway. I have more of a can do attitude this year. More of a why not? feel to my personality. Like why not travel and meet some of the folks Ive met online? Or why not write a memoir? Why not go on a sailboat with some who have asked? Why not join that cool swing group Ive heard of on here? Having a friend on a parallel path with me certainly helps.

So far 2022 has started out in a bit of a meh fashion, but my hope is that it will bring some dreams to fruition as I take the steps to make that happen. I dont do resolutions. I tend to look at what I want to make happen – to visualize and manifest dreams to reality.

What about you? Do you have any New Years resolves going into 2022? Have you any firsts to share from 2021?

Mmmm Flirty Fun Again: I Found My Own Cheers Bar
Posted:Jan 26, 2022 9:58 am
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2022 9:48 am

It was a Sunday night. The hubs had gone out of town to visit a friend€. He wasnt home yet and the had gone out with friends, so I was left with making my own plans. Gilf and I had planned to meet a friend of mine at his restaurant, but he texted me late in the day to say we had to postpone. Gilf and I decided we wanted to do SOMEthing since we had looked forward to getting together all week.

I tried to find a live music venue to go to. Its not easy to find live music on a Sunday night. We ended up going to a pub that the three of us [hubs too] had gone to earlier in the month. Its a fun neighborhood type pub that has live blues/rock music, great views of the Sound during the summer months, and a convivial atmosphere.

We got there about an hour before the band played. Even then, most of the seating was filled up except for a couple of seats at the stand-up table. We ordered drinks and drank in all the opportunities to people watch. We both love to watch the games people play and try to guess what they are all about. I told Gilf that ever since I had my woman-of-a-certain-age sexual awakening, I assume everyone in a bar is swinging or in the lifestyle! I cant help it; its where my mind goes nowadays! [Well that, or imagining them naked! Lol!]

As the band played and the drinks flowed, we watched the tight knit group of locals open up like a flower blooming in winter. They danced with partners and without; with different partners and with friends. Theres no real dance floor so everyone just kind of dances in the aisles. I pity the ones sitting there, wanting to be left alone with so much booty shaking next to their seated faces, in front of them, and yes, definitely behind them.

There was the guy in a turquoise t-shirt with matching shoes and matching sequined hat with leggings so colorful as to make LuLuRoe green with envy, who boogied the night away.

There was the cute, pert spinner type gal that even Gilf thought wanted to bed every male on the dance floor, including Mr. LuLuRoe!

Then there was a trans gal that I had seen before; always by herself, always on the fringe, watching the world around her.

Gilf pointed out the younger couple at the end of our bar that was practically having sex right then and there. I turned to look and sure enough, the guy was rubbing up against her behind. At least he was in rhythm with the beat! I told Gilf that maybe she was his shield as his hard-on might have been too dangerous for walking through a crowded bar.

I joined the dancing fray while Gilf watched the crowd, sometimes chatting with the strangers around her. The crowd was growing around us a bit, and I noticed more folks standing at the stand-up bar. One gentleman gave me a sly smile; actually I thought he was looking at someone else. A little while later I ventured to the bathroom. When I came out, I walked past this same gentleman. He lightly reached and grabbed my arm saying, œI think I know you! My peed on your leg! 

I turned and saw that it was Jaegers owner! See Episode...oh hell, I lost count! An Evening of Flirty Fun! posted 8/31/21. He was with a tall Helen Hunt lookalike. I could not tell if they were friends, dates, lovers, exes, or what. She was amiable, friendly as he hugged me and said in my ear, €œOkay, forgive me but I think Ive forgotten your name; if you give me multiple choice, I ll get it €.

€œI ll give you a hint, and with that he guessed it right away.

I pretended I forgot his name too. He gave me three options, all three lettered names. I got it on the first guess, because Im competitive that way

Helen Hunt got in on it too, and we chatted a bit more before I went back to sit at our stand-up table where Gilf chatted with the Beatles type guy next to her.

No, not Beatles, more like Rolling Stones €, she said.

No, not Rolling Stones, more like early The Who , said I.

No wait! I got it! More like The Kinks! , I said triumphantly high fiving my friend.

Jaeger s owner walked through the crowd and found a seat right in front of me. He made a point of leaning/bumping into me to make contact as he passed by. Sitting there, it made it more obvious if I looked in his direction, so I turned my back and chatted with the former Kink band member and others at our table.

A few minutes later horny young couple left, and yes, with her as his cover and shield; so Jaeger s owner and Helen Hunt came to sit near the end of our high bar table. He was kitty corner to me and would reach out his arm to touch mine to get my attention. We talked of his growing up in the area where I now live: something we had talked about before [huh, he remembered that?!] and beers. He did an aside to Helen Yeah, she likes beer!œ “No, you just kept buying them for me!, I retorted.

Helen was just drinking water[damn calorie counter!!] Yeah, I could not figure out the connection between the two of them: she said she was his ride home, his designated driver and yet would hang on his arm like a life preserver every so often. But he would lean in my direction too. Hmmm

As I was sitting facing the band, a barmaid came up to me with a beer in her hand. She used hand motions to tell me that the gentleman kitty corner to me had bought that for me. I turned to him and said, œYou should nt have!€ œHe said back, œIts an IPA, that means its double the alcohol!€
Then you really shouldnt have! I™m driving![/ I]€ I laughed. Thats when I learned she was his way home. My mind went to what happens when they got home!

Share it with your friend then , he said. œI will! And thank you! € He reached out to clink his glass with mine, we raised our glasses and said Cheers! to each other.

I got up to swing dance [ha! How apropos!] with another gentleman in that crowded dance space and afterwards had others come up to tell me how much they loved watching Gilf and I; that we had the best energy and that they were glad we were there. They encouraged us to come back every Sunday!

OMG! Think I found my very own Cheers bar!!
Oh yeah, we will be back!

Messages Missing?? Paranormal Activity Again??
Posted:Jan 13, 2022 10:32 am
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2022 7:15 am

Hi y'all!

Anyone else experiencing their messages disappearing?

I just went to check them today. My notification says I have some, but when I click on it to retrieve them, I got nuthin, nada, zip.

This is the 2nd time this has happened to me here in the last couple of months. What is going on??
Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?
Posted:Jan 11, 2022 7:16 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 7:20 am
Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?

That's what I woke up talking to myself about. Do you do that? Wake up and have these conversations going on inside your head that spill out into actual words when no one is around?

[Or do I really need a strait jacket? Hmmm, but even that could be fun! ]

Anyhoo, today it was reflecting on how so many of the gentlemen Ive met on here tend to NOT look like the photos posted in their profiles.

Now I know men have complained about that as far as women go:

"That photo must've been from at least 20 years ago!",
"That's been photoshopped"
or "She's gained a few pounds since that photo was taken."€

The hubs warned me about that, which is why we had a photo session one night when I first decided to do this. I wanted my photos and profile to be as accurate as possible. I figured either I was your cup of tea as a short bbw* or not.
[*B.IG B.eautiful and/or B.usty W.oman]

But looking back on the gentlemen I've had opportunity to meet, only a couple looked the same [okay, maybe even better!] than the photos that were shared on here.

That's not to say they were bad looking. Just different, is all.

Its not like biting in to a cookie expecting those wonderful semi-sweet chocolate morsels only to realize that, nope, ya got a mouthful of raisins instead!! No, its not like that...raisins are a disappointment to me. No one I've met from here is like a raisin to me...well, except one; but that is another story for another day!

I have found each man fascinating in his own right. I do enjoy meeting new folks; hearing their stories, experiencing the witty banter and flirting, and if it turns out to be more than that, all the better.

But I digress...

I don't think its their fault really. I think our minds have something to do with it. Our brains tend to fill in the blanks and come to conclusions that aren't quite accurate. I mean there's only so much one can see from a body part, no? Can you truly recognize a guy in a bar from his dick pic? Or can you judge a gal by her cleavage or her camel toe? If you can, then boy! You are good!!

Back to the brain, photography and perceptions...where was I?
Oh yes! Body parts! Not just dick pics, but a photo with only lips, or just one eye, or a tatted arm...our mind's eye naturally builds a story or fantasy around that photograph that makes sense to us, whether accurate or not.

I remember T.O.G., aka "Torso of the Gods" of the first men I met on here; well, online anyway; I never met him in person.
His profile was a black and white pic of a well sculpted torso and a hint of a bearded jawline [kind of my kryptonite, btw]

The kind of photo that would be in a Calvin Klein ad.

The kind of jawline you could see nuzzling into the crook of his neck to kiss.

The kind of beard with a hint of salt and pepper, that would invite you to reach out and touch.

As our relationship went further, he sent me a face pic.

He didn't match what my mind's eye and Calvin's ad execs would've done, but he was handsome, nonetheless.

It was just different, is all.

Pics can be accidentally deceptive. With other pics I remember thinking: Ohhh, he's got dark hair under that cap and a twinkling smile!€
Actual meet: the smile was there, but no hair under that cap! Again, a very handsome and kissable pate; just different is all.

Another time it was: Hmmm, looks like he would have a husky build, big bushy white hair from an old out of focus photograph€
Actual meet: tall, athletic/thin, with close cropped light brown hair.

One gentleman, whom I loved meeting and getting to know, had never sent me a face pic. I only had his torso to go on. He had been extremely verbal in the texts he sent. We had paragraphs of conversations. Between the banter and his torso pics, I was anticipating our meet. When we did finally meet, and because I'd never seen his face, I spent most of that initial meet erasing in my mind who I thought I was going to meet, and replacing him with whom I actually met.

It was just different, that's all.

I truly enjoyed him, by the way. We met a couple of other times when he was in my area.

See what your mind concludes looking at these pics, sent to me by my Poetry Man. He believes that men are prewired to see curves, erotically so, even if they're not there.

What do you think? First thought is curves, right? Well, LACE and curves!

This IS a body part. Just not the one you think it is

Done any good reading lately?

You light up my life!

See how your eyes need a moment of readjustment to look and see what is really there?
That is how my first meets go a lot of the time. I have come to the realization that is more like ABDF [Adult Blind Date Finder]. Actually I think all online dating sites are like that.


I have learned that it helps to just let go of expectations and simply go with the flow and allow myself to really get to know and enjoy the people I meet.

I asked Poetry Man if I looked like my pics when he met me. His response was: I liked your energy.€

Well crap! What is that supposed to mean??
Part 2 My So-Called Exciting Life!
Posted:Dec 23, 2021 9:54 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2022 8:47 am
Once again, The first comment is much easier to read - go there.
Part 2 Seriously, my life as a Sitcom!

It took us almost 12 hours to get to Reno. We had to stop outside a Taco Time to talk through some stuff for a couple of hours before we went through with it.

We rolled into Reno at 11:45 pm after our “bachelor/bachelorette party” at a hole in the wall diner, and eight bottles of champagne. We found The Little Chapel of Neon Hearts and went in.

My bestie was our witness and Best man/Maid of Honor. My bouquet was some dusty faded hard plastic flowers. The officiant looked like Mama Cass with a lilting sing-song-y voice as she read the vows. She sounded like a short order cook when we got to the part about the rings.

We whispered to her: “We don’t have any rings”. She broke from her Snow White lilt and yelled, “THEY DON’T GOT NO RINGS!!”

She re-composed herself and got back to the vows: ”…to love honor and obey till death do you part?” I saw the color start to drain from my hubs’ face.

When it was over we got a cassette recording of our vows that we still have to this day, somewhere. I went out with my friend to look around for a motel. My hubs was somewhere between two cars throwing up. He told me later, it was because all the countless thousands [of women] that he would now never meet, flashed before his eyes.

We found a Motel 6 to stay at. He wanted us all in the same room [“To save ” he said] We protested with the bestie saying “No fucking way! I’ll sleep in the car! “

She got her own room.

I proceeded to take the longest shower on record. 2.5 hours.

I was kinds hoping he’d pass out on the bed. It didn’t happen. Sex for that night was the dead fish kind. Truthfully, I think I was in shock.

Early the next morning, I had to go to a phone booth [remember them?] and in for a substitute for my classes. I had to called my co-teacher too. It was the end of the third quarter grading period, so I had to read off my portion of the grades to her so we could get them in on time.

When I told her where I was and what I had done, she didn’t believe me. “C’mon, you are in Gresham, don’t lie to me!”

“No, truly, I am standing outside a Motel 6 in Reno freezing my ass off in a phone booth!”

I read her my grades for each class while she laughed. I found out later from some of the that she actually fell out of her chair laughing when she told the students where I was.

The drive home was quiet. Except in the mountains where we got pelted with raindrops so fat they almost flooded the inside of the car. We had to stop to put the sunroof back on. Then almost slid off the road in the downpour.

The next day after I went to school and everyone found out about my escapade, reality really started to set in and I got scared. I remember coming home to my sister’s house, being curled up in the fetal position on the granite countertop with my friend feeding me shots of Wild Turkey, while I rocked back and forth mumbling, “What have I done? What have I done?!!!”

We’ve lasted tho’. Through thick and thin, hard times and fun times, we've managed to stay intact.

The second most terrifying thing I’ve done is being a Mom. Now, I know those are not “exciting and/or action packed” experiences; I mean, not like waterskiing nude, or participating in a kink convention or being on Hugh Hefner’s yacht.

But they are fucking life changing! They’ve shaped who I am and what I do today.

And this, the Second Act, promises to bring more adventures and stories to tell!
Stay Tuned!!

My So Called Exciting Life
Posted:Dec 22, 2021 11:56 am
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2022 7:23 am

So tell me something totally exciting that you've done!€ he said as we cuddled.

I truly hate it when I get asked that or the "So tell me about yourself"question.

My mind went totally blank, and my doe eyes had headlights in them.

In sales, I was taught to have a 'stump speech'€ at the ready; a thirty second blurb designed to pique the other's interest to want to know more about your product or service. [Trust me, its much easier to promote something made or offered by someone else than to sell your own wares].

I had nothing prepared for that moment. I thought to myself, 'He must be getting bored with me!'€.

He looked at me expectantly...


I had nothing that would even come close to the adventures he has lived.

We've covered some amazing topics about him: Kinkfest, BitCoin, travels [his, not mine], Martial Arts, weird music tastes [Industrial], Shibari, his brushes with fame: Anton LaVey, Mary of Peter, Paul and Mary, even told me the story of the kinkiest gal he’s ever been with [Geezus, as if THAT wasn’t intimidating!]

So I have been racking my very vanilla brain trying to come up with an intriguing answer to his question. It made me realize I have lived a safe, stable and sheltered existence. I lived in the very same house my whole life till I moved out on my own. I have only traveled to a few spots within the U.S. and day trips to Canada. I don't even have a passport. [There's a discrepancy by one vowel between my birth certificate and my SS card that I need to get fixed first]. And of course, if youve read along in this blog at all, you'll know that till now I've been with the same man for 35 years.

I would have to say that the most exciting and out of character off the wall thing that I’ve ever done is eloped to Reno. I mean, it was a TRUE elopement. We woke up one Sunday and said, “Wouldnt it be nice to wake up like this every day?” Of course, we had just had sex when he said that and thought it was a good idea. Cautious me had my doubts about it.

Impetuous he said, “look if we don’t do it then we’ll look at it as a fun adventure. We’ll gamble a little, and then come home.”

I said, “Can I bring my bestie with me?”

“Sure, but let’s not tell her what we’re really doing. We’ll act like we’re driving to Kah-nee-ta Warm Springs Resort and then just keep driving.”

We picked up my friend – she and I were housesitting for my sister, who had just moved to Texas at the time and wanted eyes on her place. We were dressed for the sun: capri pants, a long t-shirt cover-up and sandals. I tell you this because that became my wedding ensemble!

We were at Mt. Hood when we stopped at the small general store and ATM. There weren’t a lot of them around in those days. The hubs got some cash and some champagne for the road. When the bestie saw that, she exclaimed,” You two are getting MARRIED!!! I think its a wonderful idea!!!”

With that we were on our way to begin our life together.

Well, kinda.

We all talked and drank and drove. I know, not the smartest way to go, but we were at that young and invincible stage of life. We stopped in Redmond to gas up and went to the grocery store for snacks and more champagne.

I remember walking down a grocery aisle with my friend with her saying, 'So, when did you say ˜yes€™?

I retorted, “I havent yet. That™s why I brought you along…to talk him out of it.”
This New Thing
Posted:Dec 6, 2021 9:21 am
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2021 5:39 pm

I have been looking at the new beta Community for blogs this morning to see what everyone is talking about.

I am not sure how they can see addresses and such, as some have mentioned.
The layout seems a bit cartoon-y in my opinion.

They still have the programming glitches in punctuation and symbols, etc.

Definitely photo-rich as far as content goes. [C'est le vie! As the world goes, so do we?] I prefer words to pictures, myself.

As another blogger pointed out, we of the Boomer Generation have a much harder time accepting change than others.

And now it is about LEVELS instead of points?? I feel like I am in a Martial Arts training.

"Ah, lil Grasshopper, if you can steal the yoni egg from my hand you will have arrived!"
"Too slow!!! "€œ

My only concerns are the cries of a lack of privacy. How is that an issue, exactly? Can others see the private comments that get sent in the private mailboxes now? Some have said that addresses get shown?? Seriously?

And for those of you considering leaving, where would you end up? I am only on this site, I do not know what other sites to consider if I left and I always like to have options

Please let me know your thoughts below.
Educate me on the privacy issues, etc.

Jack and I Broke Up - PART TWO
Posted:Nov 24, 2021 8:07 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2022 5:48 am

The differences between us continued as we talked: She homeschooled her five . I had one . Just one, with whom I entertained the idea of homeschooling for about a hot minute; that is until I had to get him to do his homework packets in kindergarten. [which, btw, I thought was the most ridiculous idea for educating on the planet! Homework??? For kindergarteners???] What was supposed to take "only 20 minutes of schoolwork at home" took two hours  of daily screaming fits and tantrums..[and don't get me started on how my reacted!! lol]

I also learned that she loves quilting, whereas I hate sewing. She loves Trump and I lean to the left of the middle politically speaking and cannot stand him. [and that is the extent of pontificating my politics on this blog]. 

I mainly listened as she and the hubs talked. She has a quiet voice that made me have to lean in to hear her. I was reading lips most of the time. I was seated in the middle of them both, which probably made it hard for the hubs to hear her as well. At one point I excused myself to the bathroom. When I came out, I stood hidden, watching them talk and laugh like the old friends they were. I figured I would let them have their time to talk and catch up as I had time with Jack and met others instead. One young gal I started talking to was completely open about her polyamorous bicurious leanings and shared how she came into the lifestyle and to our table** [**which, she told me was known as "the Swingers table"]. She and I are now friends on FB, somehow...

I also shamelessly flirted with the karaoke DJ; a younger man that looked like a Hollywood centerfold. Yes, Jack has always helped me come out of my shell!  

I came back to the table with The Playmate telling a story about one of The Hostess' parties. She threw her head back, laughed, patted my hubs' arm and said, "You know me, I'm the Energizer Bunny!" 

Now, that's an innocuous comment, really. But for some reason [JACK] it hit me the wrong way. [JACK] When I look back on it, I think it was intermixed in my mind with previous comments and conversations that the hubs and I have had that made my temperature rise...Oh and [JACK!]

Comments and conversations like when I first found out about the GF and as we were driving to dinner one night. I asked him what attracted him to her.
 "Welllll," he said slowly, "She fucks like a racehorse! She can go all night!" 
That statement  has been stuck in my craw ever since he first uttered it over a year ago. 

And as we were headed down to this event he told me he's going to the eastern side of the state to visit his lady friend there; AND he's been talking to another friend that wants him to come visit in the MIdwest!

When I pointed out the fact that he's gone on several outings this year with other people, while I've been "keeping the home fires burning", he would bring up all the "lunch dates" that I've had. To me, that's apples to oranges: out of town trips, overnight stays, mini vacays are completely different than a lunch or hot tub outing. On the one hand, he's making memories with someone else. Me? I'm just getting fucked! 

We were the first to leave the bar. He was still not feeling well, and I was feeling no pain. I held up the wall of the bar as we walked to the car. I don't remember much else really. He must've said something to ignite the fuse. [JACK] I went off like a firecracker...a bad firecracker. I exploded in the car the second the doors were shut! All I remember was the raw emotion. And that I pounded on the door window for emphasis with each Fuck You I uttered. [JACK] I think I remember saying something about being in limbo all the time; that I was sick, so sick and tired of not knowing what the fuck was going on inside his head.

I screamed and yelled all the way back to the motel. 

He said nothing. Just watched me go off. He readied himself for bed calmly saying that we would talk about this in the morning. 

I was insistent we talk about it right there and then. Finally he yelled back. [Is that what I really wanted??! Any kind of fucking reaction??] He said " ENOUGH! We'll talk about it tomorrow because I'm sick and you're drunk and you have been yelling at me the whole time in the car!!!" 

All I could do was say, "No I havent!" [JACK!!]  At that point the lights went out in the room and I sat there in the dark, wide awake [JACK], Not feeling done yet, so,...I went to the bar at the motel. Not a lot of people there. I sat in a quiet corner with Jack one last time, while the music played and wrote in my journal. 

The next morning I woke up after only about four hours of sleep. My false eyelashes were crinkled up, moving perpendicular to my eyes. My head felt like it was detached from my body. I didn't know what to say to the man beside me. I asked him how he was feeling. He turned the question back on to me. He started packing to leave. I thought we were going to meet The Playmate. "I don't want  to ", he said. "We saw her last night, so we don't need to see her this morning." We got ready to go in silence. 

There I was back in limbo, with my mind starting to spin its tales again. This time, after I put such a lovely ending on a lovely trip, my thoughts were a bit more anxious than usual. I wondered if we would talk about what happened on the way home. But, no. Not even a little bit. The conversation was sparse and casual, with him napping as I drove part of the way home.

I get it. He doesn't like conversations that lead to possible conflicts. Never has.
The next few days I looked at what happened. It wasn't just Jack who caused the outburst. He certainly didn't help, however! And it wasn't jealousy at my-very-exact-opposite, The Playmate. It was anger; and grief. I was/am still grieving the loss of what our relationship is "supposed" to be; not what it is. I told my two besties about it over the next week. One says I should write a sit-com about my life. The other said, "Of course you're still angry. He hurt you. And he's never once apologized for it." 
It's true.
I found myself looking at couples' profiles on this site: every last one of them begins with "happliy married and secure"...
Ours would read: "satisfactorily married and somewhat secure...for now"
I wonder how many are really, really happy...and secure?
And how did they get to that point?
Were there bumps and potholes along the way?
How did they avoid them???
I wondered who started them on this journey?
Themselves or their spouse? Was it mutual??

It's okay, the veneer is back up now; just has a few cracks in it. 

To link to this blog (bustinout20202) use [blog bustinout20202] in your messages.

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