๐Ÿ‘‘ Paul's Place ๐Ÿธ โ˜• ๐Ÿ๐Ÿพ ๐Ÿ‘‘
 
Welcome...
๐Ÿ”™ (Click the picture for a crisp view)

Scroll around and make yourself at home.
The vibe here is relaxed...

Vodka slushie ? ๐Ÿธ Irish coffee ? โ˜•,
I just moved the furniture
about,
but the fridge is still in the kitchen.
Help yourself.
...

I went to a restaurant,
and I met a vegan...
ย 
Fornicating Vegans

. ... . ๐ŸŒน Happy International Women's Day! โค๏ธ
* Words are like meatloaf - they can be sculpted into any shape you choose. . . . .
(* ยฉApril 2018-19 March Paul P. )
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
My Private Mail Box
Posted:Jul 12, 2018 9:41 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2019 6:40 am
49877 Views
My Private Mail Box ๐Ÿ“ฉ ....
Click Comments , leave a message and check your own Blog Main Page - 'Where I.m Quoted' ... or come back here.
๐Ÿธ โ˜•
Click the PIC for a focused view
0 Comments , 26 Pending
Are You Masturbating Too Much? ..... Hmmn ..... ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
Posted:Mar 18, 2019 5:13 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2019 7:41 am
696 Views
Excessive masturbation causes cancer... in mice. These mice had been stimulated, 30 times daily.... for 2 years and 95% of them, developed genital cancer. Scientists now warn, if men, or women masturbate too often... it can lead to dire, cancerous, consequences. Scientists, in Helsinki Finland, published their findings in the, "Scientific Weekly", this past Monday, providing... definitive proof.

OK... I just made... all t.hat bullshit u.p . But it sounded official; NO ? And I.m sure, some of you... paused for a second... or two - right?

That's my point!

If you read it somewhere... on the net, or heard it from a friend, who's read something - chances are, you're believing it. Or are you?

Do you recall the bogus scare, in 1995, created by a fake woman scientist (Nancy Markle), who proclaimed that aspartame, caused cancer? It was revealed, that she was a fake. It turned out... you'd have to consume... 20 pounds of that stuff , per day, for ten y.ears - in order to get cancer. To this day it is... the, canonical* example, of an Internet hoax.

* (Look u.p the word... it's part of my mandate here - to educate. Yes... I had to look it u.p too.)

I sometimes... p.ay attention, to those scientific reports. You know the ones. T.hat one, in particular; where, if you eat one pound of carrots per day, you'll get carrot cancer. Yeah well... never mind t.hat crap. I love carrots. ๐Ÿ˜


So...
Do you bother reading, the latest scientific scares, or do you just... live your life?


Bonus Question : Do you masterbate once per day?

I've got a fresh pot of coffee brewing.... The Irish coffee is still flowing. Or... I have the usual slushies... In the fridge. You know where they are.

*Note: A F F has chopped and dropped words... Patience is a good thing. Uhh... ๐Ÿค”
..........
29 Comments
Dogs Do It... And We've Copied Their Style... ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿถ
Posted:Mar 16, 2019 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2019 3:56 pm
1059 Views
How many different styles are there? Which one is the most popular? Yes of course... you all know the answer - it's 'Doggy Style'. Men love it. Women adore it. D.ogs do it.

There was a g.roup , of wild hounds (in the midwest), who tried to popularise 'Backwards Cowgirl'... but that... never caught on, with those dogs.

It's the only way dogs do it and it's become a favorite of human's. We have named it - Doggy Style : It's Deep, Penetrating, Sensual, Submissive.... and uh... Oh... so fucking h.ot ! No?

The thing is... when i.m. behind her, my mind sometimes drifts. Her ass and woman bits, are s.o hot. No doubt! But occasionally... I start thinking...

"Should I put the meatloaf in the oven now, or wait a bit? It's going to take 45 minutes or so to cook ."

Well... then I started thinking. If I am thinking about meatloaf... what is she, thinking of? What are you, women thinking about, as you... white knuckle, and clutch those sheets? I can't see your f.aces . You moan and sigh and wiggle. But really... What are YOU thinking of?

I know that eventually... I focus on my job. And I get it done. Or, we switch to the 'Missionary Style' .... where I can feel her breath and l.ook into her eyes. And that's kool as well... And by then... the meatloaf is ready.


Is Doggy Style the one, that trips you o.ut, or do you have another favorite?
Or talk, about whatever you want to talk about.


Irish coffee today... โ˜• or Vodka slushies are in the fridge.... ๐ŸธHelp yourself.
Oh and... don't jiggle with the handle on the toilet. Thanks...


A F F is screwing around by totally messing with words in blogs. If u see words missing... it is not me.
......
46 Comments
What The Fuck Is Your Problem? ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
Posted:Mar 15, 2019 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2019 6:19 am
1510 Views
Everyone bitches about something, sometime dont we? Even the most positive individual bitches, once in a while.

Take me for instance. Last night I was pissed off with this stupid website - A F F for chopping words, from my blog stories. I write stories for fucks sake. Good ones (read them), and when the story gets messed up... what's the point of my effort?

I read shit here where ladies are bitching about how stupid men are; what with their dick pic profiles and all. I see stuff where men bitch about women playing hard to get ;when their profile pic is them... with a dildo in their pussies. The traffic, the weather, your boss, lame blogs, your ex wife or husband.....

Bitching about something releases pressure and it makes you feel better. I think...

It's Friday night and it's late. You ain't getting laid this evening... You're reading this shit!

Bring it on......

What the fuck is your problem?

By the way... I.m not getting laid either. The vodka slushies are iced and I.... got time....


So.... ? What's bugging you ? Anything?
.............
52 Comments
7 Men... Some Squirrels... and The Blond Girl... ๐Ÿ˜˜
Posted:Mar 14, 2019 12:40 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2019 11:52 pm
2786 Views
Once upon a time, in a distant suburb of this city, there lived - a blond g.irl. She was in her early twenties and a stunning beauty. One day, she replied to a Kraig's Lust ad, looking for a Hostess. Next thing she knew, she had moved into a house with 7 midgets... uh... I meant - 7 vertically challenged men .

In return for her duties, she would receive, 'room and board'. She'd also have a safe haven, from her step m.om, who was trying to k.ill her... supposedly. How do I know all of this? I got a c.all, from those little men, and they hired me.

Back in the day, I owned, a 'full s.ervice', home maintenance company. We did everything. The cooking, the cleaning, landscaping... you name it.

My first day, on the job, consisted of my crew and me, cleaning up, what looked like 25 of 'mining debris'. Pick axes, sledge hammers, wheelbarrows.... all strewn about - across the ten acre, forested property. Evidently... they (the little people ), had lucked into a vein of gold - back. They hadn't worked, in decades, and... they'd done, pretty well. Their two story, 'Victorian' style home, was huge. You should have seen, the size of the wide screen TV, in one of the bath rooms. I would have shat there, for a while.

One sunny afternoon, I was in the kitchen, chopping, cloves of garlic, preparing a maple glazed meatloaf. My view at the kitchen island, was through a large, picture window, which faced the back yard. I soon noticed, a strange thing. Rabbits, squirrels, birds and deer... hopped, scurried, flew and sauntered... all around the edge - of the manicured lawn. It was as if... they were coming, to greet someone. "They looked cute, but suspicious, " I thought.

My serene gaze, was disrupted, when I heard screams, from a bedroom upstairs.

"Oh my God! No...! No...! No...! Are you crazy? "

Thinking, something was, terribly wrong, I dropped my garlic and followed the cries. I ran up the stairs, to the second floor. I flung open, one of the bedroom doors, and there she was... the blond g.irl - on the bed.

Two of those little people , were thrusting their cocks into her mouth, as she lay, on top, of tiny Tony. Roberto was fucking her i.n the ass. And Harold was pumping her pussy, with a huge dildo. It was obvious... her screams, were those of pleasure. This one little guy, Bobby, kept sneezing, and blowing his nose. He stood off to the
side, of the dresser. I imagine, he was allergic to the cat, was sitting on the chair... watching. last little man, Darnell... was filming the proceedings, on a professional looking camera. I took a snapshot in my head... and closed the door.

I trudged back downstairs. The buzzer on the oven, had gone off. The meatloaf and scalloped potatoes, were almost done. The salad was fresh... and the garlic bread... was hot and crispy. I rang the dinner bell. It took them a while, but eventually... they came downstairs. They all looked content... and they hungrily, gobbled u.p the feast.

I really enjoyed gig. They p.aid well. I also liked the quiet vibe, of spruce forest; in spite of all those animals... constantly lurking. There was only one visitor, who ever dropped by, during the time I was there. She was an and rickety woman, dressed in black. She rang the doorbell, trying to , s.ell some homemade apple pies. Darnell answered the door day. He didn't any pies.

I never did get to meet, blond g.irl's step mom. But I heard, she was accidentally killed; run over by a snow plow. What a messy way to go. My contract, eventually ran o.ut and the little people decided, there would be, no extension. No worries. They tipped. m.e really well.

On the day I left, the blond g.irl, in her twenties, gave m.e a hug and waved goodbye. I never knew her last name. But her first name, was Neige, which in French means - Snow. I heard later on (after the inheritance with her step m.om's estate was settled), she moved back, into her step mom's home.

I still see those little people , once in a while. All of them, drive around in this red Dodge van and they always, wave to m.e. Nice fellas... I received some great references from them and ended working, for their friends. Three brothers, who were into a variety, of organic, construction techniques. You know... homes built with straw and wood and stone bricks?

.............
So...
Is sex with multiple partners the same time, something you'd consider, or is it not your style?
What are some of your favorite Disney or other cartoon movies?


Bonus Question : How are you with landscaping? Any proud moments?

NOTE: A F F Has decided to mess around, by randomly deleting words, and images. I've tried to correct it. This site is annoying.
.................
25 Comments
They Were Putting On A Show... ๐Ÿ˜Š
Posted:Mar 12, 2019 1:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2019 1:13 am
2891 Views
My day... had been littered, with boring meetings. When Lynn called, I greeted her cheerful voice, with an invitation - "Our usual place? I'll wait for you outside. See you soon." She was, right on time.

Our eyes adjusted, to the dim light, as we made our way in. Dark, oak wood panels, framed the walls and soft music filled, the shimmering, candle lit room. Rich, red, carpeted floors, muffled all sounds... to a soft hush.

Lynn slipped in, next to me, on t.hat plush... black leather, banquette. A whiff of her scent... caressed me. Her foot brushed my ankle, with a subtle purpose, as she crossed her legs.

The waiter, took our liquid orders. We waited... while munching , on the gherkins and fresh bread. In minutes, our iced martinis, were clinging - "To health."

"And... to dull, never ending meetings," Lynn countered. We laughed. Then... we both noticed, the couple sitting, in front of us. How could we ignore them? They were [iputting on a show.

She - was snuggled, right up close to him, as he planted a gentle kiss... on her lips. We watched, as his hand, traced a path, up her legs. She parted them... willingly. I knew the exact moment, when his fingers, had found their way, to tease... a moist, spot. Her head, tilted back... and she sighed.

His digits lingered there. She drew her mouth, onto his... as they locked tongues. She leaned her hips forward as he pressed his fingers, further between her. I then saw her hand, as it brazenly, slipped underneath, the napkin on his lap. She'd found, something... to caress, when it was his turn... to gasp. She touched his , with her fingers, as they passionately kissed. Then suddenly... they... and us watchers - were rudely interrupted.

A waiter had arrived - pushing, a dessert cart, towards them.

Hastily, he withdrew his hand, from between her skirt and nervously... looked around the room. I casually buried myself, into my drink... and so did Lynn. His woman - straightened her skirt and her posture and ran her nails, through her hair. Her man - brought his fingers to his , casually ... as if, to brush, the wetness of her kiss, from his lips. And that.s ... when he smelled her. I knew he did. I knew t.hat , of pleasant surprise... and lust. She smelled... like a woman, always smells, when she's wet - like sex. It is, an exquisite... unforgettable, fragrance.

The dessert waiter droned on, describing in detail, all the various, exotic, creamy pastry creations. Pointing to them, on t.hat large, lace lined, tray.

By the time their server, had finished, with his sweet monologue... they were both, composed. They looked a.t each other, and agreed with a nod; then politely, asked for the bill.

Lynn and I, slowly... turned... towards each other. Our mouth's were gaping, on the edge... of empty glasses. I laughed.a.t our silliness.

"Well... that, was interesting... and !" Lynn whispered. "I've got to... uh... go to the ladie's room. Get another drink, please? Oh and... find out what t.hat couple ordered. I may want to have, some of t.hat, " she said giggling... as she slid, from the leather seat.

"I'll do t.hat ," I laughed.

I ordered a new round of drinks. Even before they'd arrived, Lynn had moved back, into her spot... beside . Her smile beamed slyly, from ear to ear. Those blue green eyes, twinkled back the reflection, of the candle, on our table

"T.hat was quick. What? Why the grin Lynn?" I knew, something was .

" I.m not, wearing... my panties. I took them off," she whispered, as she looked into my eyes. "Move closer... and check for yourself...."

I Iooked a.t Lynn and smiled. She never - failed to amaze . I inched closer and nuzzeled, my leg, against hers. As I began to slide my hand, between Lynn's thighs.... she grasped my wrist and stopped .

"Paul. new couple, the table in front of us... they're watching."

I turned... and whispered back, in Lynn's ear. "Great... let's put on a good show for them." I took my hand and pulled her mouth, gently, towards mine... and kissed her. "I don't care about t.hat couple Lynn. Let's see... how quietly, you can moan. You're the only audience, I care about babe. You're all the applause... I n.eed ."

I could feel Lynn's thighs, move apart. ... t.hat was my cue.

.......................................................
So...
Are you into public displays of affection, when you're with your partner?
Do you watch other people, for entertainment, when you're out in public?


Bonus Question : How was your day?
..................................................
31 Comments
Pink Panties... and The Laundromat... ๐Ÿ˜˜
Posted:Mar 7, 2019 12:59 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2019 2:47 am
4461 Views
My washing machine was on the fritz last week. Dirty laundry had piled up. Wearily, I took my clothes, down to the local laundromat and got busy. There was, one other person there. An attractive woman, my age, who was going about her business. I loaded my machine, sat down and began to wait. My eyes were closing... slowly lulled to sleep, by the humm, of the machines. They have a very soothing murmer to them, dont they?

I could see, that woman, was having trouble. She looked at me, with her deep... brown eyes... and spoke.

"My panties, are stuck in this stupid machine."

"Really?" I stood up and walked towards her and that machine. "Maybe I can help?"

"Maybe you can," she replied cheerfully.

I reached into the machine and tried to pry, her panties from it's grasp. I could feel them. "They're silk aren't they? You know... you're lucky. I am, a panty expert , so I know, all about them."

"You do? I've never heard of a panty expert before." she laughed.

I twisted and strenuously pulled and tugged and finally... recovered her panties. They were silk and red and quite ripped up. I held them up in my hands. We both looked at them. "Well... these, aren't good for you. "

"Well... they weren't bad for me," she replied coyly.

"Really...?" I smiled broadly, from ear to ear. "You know, it's my fault, that these ripped. The very least I can do, is buy you a new pair. What do you think?" I inquired playfully.

"I've never had a man ask me, if he could buy me, a pair of panties before. Sure...! It sounds like it could be fun. I'd have to try them on for you. To see if they fit and if you like them. I know a little shop; just down the street. Is your laundry done? Mine is."

I looked at my machine. "It will be soon. My name is Paul. Pleased to meet you." I extended my hand.

"My name is Brenda... and the pleasure, is all mine. "

Laundromats... go figure. They're as much fun, as people say they are.

At that moment, the buzzer on my machine started buzzing. It startled me. I had, dozed off , in my chair. I lifted my head and looked around. I was... the only... person, in that laundromat.

Laundromats... go figure... They're as boring as people say they are.

I stood up, to get my clothes. I reached in and tried to pull my shirt out. I couldn't. It was stuck, in that stupid machine...


........................................................
So...
How is your day going?
Do you like silk underwear; either to wear, or to help someone, remove ?


Bonus Question : Do washing machine repair people still exist, or do must of you just chuck broken machines?
......................................................
31 Comments
Lust.... Love... or Just Plain Sex... ๐Ÿ˜Š
Posted:Mar 5, 2019 1:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2019 11:30 am
5235 Views
"Come to me babe." She spread her legs for him and welcomed him to enter. Her whole body, tingled with electricity. The waves of excitement, swept through her, like a bold flood. She longed to be filled by him; yearned for the fullness he promised. And for the warmth and hardness, only that piece of him, could provide.

She clutched his hips and pulled him towards her and waited... for that moment. The moment, when he'd find her opening ; when he'd slip through, that first fold, of wet velvet skin. That feeling, like the taste of honey... never grew old and always, forced a gasp. It was, a welcome moan, she never tired of... and one that always, surprised her. It astonished her. How it somehow felt, as if it was... the very first time! Looking into his eyes and listening to him breath... she knew. His desire and need... mirrored hers.

He leaned forward, pressing himself against her... to feel more. They closed their eyes... and kissed.


...
So...
How's your day ?
Does that first penetration, take your breath away?


........
35 Comments
Hot Tub Buzz... ๐Ÿ›€ And the Cleaning Lady โค๏ธ
Posted:Feb 28, 2019 12:37 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2019 1:57 pm
8531 Views
The other night, I was at the fitness club. It was late and I was the only one left. Yet... I was in no rush, to get out, of the multi-jet tub. The sign on the wall, warned bathers, not to spend more, than 15 minutes, submerged. I rarely, pay attention to signs. Heck... I barely pause, at the ones labeled - STOP. Those pulsating jets,
felt great, as they massaged, my aching muscles. It was easy for me, to close my eyes and doze off, for a bit. Obviously, that is why I didn't hear a sound - when she called out... to see if anyone was still in, that locker room.

When I first stepped out of the tub, I felt light-headed. I wiped my eyes, with my face cloth and walked (not far), to my locker. Holding that tiny cloth, while patting my forehead, was how... the cleaning lady - found me. She had wheeled her bucket and mop, to my row in the locker room - and stopped.

As I lifted the tiny towel, from my eyes and saw her standing there - I thought... "Well hello. What the fuck, are you doing here?" Of course... I didn't say that. I just, sheepishly waved and said - "Hi."

She was tall, middle aged, with an attractive figure and dark brown eyes. She stood there, one hand on her mop, the other on her hip, and spoke, in a thick, European accent. "Hello. I.m just here, to do the floor, and this is the last row left."

A.t this point, in the conversation, t.hat dick, between my legs, was beginning to rule, his portion of my groin. He had decided t.hat "full attention", might be a good way, to greet, this new lady friend. She looked down at him, stared and smiled.

Then... as if conversations with naked men, occur in her line of work, all the time, or perhaps, in her culture - she casually asked. "Would you like me, to give you a second? Are you, going to be long?"

Well, I thought - "Heck no! If my erect cock doesn't bother you, well then... HE, certainly doesn't bother me, either."

"It's all right. My locker is right here. I'll be gone, in a minute, " and I reached for my towel, to dry off, my wet body. The lady and her bucket... stood by, hands clutching the mop.

There I was... drying my legs and thighs and arms and back. And... eventually my now, rock hard dick... all under, mop lady's, measured scrutiny. I looked a.t her, from my travails, a.t one point- just to gauge her approval. The smile on her face, told m.e all I needed to know.

As I pulled, my boxer briefs o.n, she managed to get one last, glimpse, of my 'friend', before saying - "It shows t.hat, you work out."

"Thank you," I replied. I can't recall, ever dressing for a woman, where I felt, as if I, was putting on a show. I'll admit... it was h.ot I'll also admit, I felt objectified.... if only I knew what the fuck, t.hat word meant. Pants, socks, shoes, shirt, watch.... they were all pulled over, through, buttoned, and buckled with silky smooth, precision. I would normally do the sniff test, on the socks, but I skipped t.hat step.

There I was... fully clothed. The lady with the mop looked o.n, approvingly and smiled again. I felt, after becoming so intimate with her, at the very least, I should introduce myself. "My name is Paul," and I extended my hand. She shook it.

"My name is Irena," she replied, while looking, into my eyes. She was attractive, for sure. I thought... very carefully, on how, I would phrase the next question.

"I work out late, quite often. Perhaps... after you finish work, some time... we could, go for a cup of coffee?"

"Oh no sir! T.hat won't be possible. We're not allowed to fraternize, with the members. And members of the club, are not allowed to approach us, either. T.hat... would be considered - sexual harassment," she smiled.

I looked a.t her and blinked.

"Ok then... Have yourself a good night," and I waved good bye.

"You too Paul. Have a great night."

I felt light headed. It must still have been, the effects, of those jets... yep those damn jets. I did feel... pretty tingly though. It was a nice feelin


......................................................
So...
How do you stay in shape: what's your exercise routine?
Have you ever felt, objectified... (whatever means) ?


Bonus Question: Who doesn't like multi-jet tubs?

*NOTE :When you read words like - a.t , T.hat m.e I.m - it is due to this A F F website, chopping words.
.......................................................
35 Comments
Maple Smoked Ham...๐Ÿ... and First Impressions ๐Ÿ˜Š
Posted:Feb 21, 2019 1:26 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2019 4:37 am
14244 Views
It's the middle of the end, of winter, over here and I had an idea. "How about a picnic?" I asked. The sun was shining and it was, so... much warmer, than the minus 100, it felt like, last week. "Let's do it!" I said. She agreed, and I put my phone down. Off I drove, to pick her up - on the other side, of the island.

Along the way (not far from her place), I popped into a small grocery store, to buy the supplies. Fresh bread, some maple smoked ham, olives and (of course) strawberries. Oh... and some cheese. I stood in front of a sliding glass door and stared. The chrome racks, were piled high with, Kraft Singles and boxes of Velveeta . I was hoping, for something more eclectic. You know... brie... camembert... strong cheddar? I glanced the elderly woman shopper beside me and asked.

"Is this all the cheese they have?"

"Well... How much do you need?"

I looked her and blinked. By the time I got to my lady friend's house, she was waiting for me, outside and quickly jumped into the car. I told her my story, about the cheese and... other things. She listened to me; in the same way, you'd listen to the announcements, at the subway station - just enough to notice, if there were any emergencies. I could tell, she was distracted.

She then spoke, and told me about her day. She had a unique, high pitched voice. How would I describe it? Well... if a baby carrot could talk, that's how it might sound. Something else, in her demeaner, led me to sense, she was very sad. She was always, such a happy person. Yet... I know... even in a bright candle flame, there is always, a touch of blue. She gradually, revealed to me, why she was upset. Her oldest daughter, had decided to move, out of her home, and into an apartment - with her new boyfriend.

I asked her what she thought of him. Turns out, she'd only met him a few times and her first impressions, weren't good ones. My mind drifted... a bit. Who has the patience or the time for anything other than first impressions, these days, right? You only get 142 characters on twitter. Your hi-speed internet, better stream that video, without a hitch, or you're picking up the phone. That express checkout lane, is just never, fast enough.

I quickly, came back into the conversation and listened to her, talk about the boy. I tried to reassure her, that all she needed, was time, to get to know him better. Time... to see the same things, her daughter sees. I'm not sure she agreed with me. But the way I looked at it - she didn't have a choice. Not if she was going to have a good relationship, with her daughter. Or was I wrong?

Snow had started to fall. The weather here, changes faster, than those lights, on that least favorite, intersection, we all know. Altered plans: the picnic would be at my place. I made a right, at the next street. I knew of a cute, little Italian deli, that sold great cheeses.


..........................................................
So...
Do first impressions hold true for you or do you ever change your mind about someone?
What first impressions do think you give off?


Bonus Question : Are you a cheese person or would you pass on the smelly ones?

Analogies & metaphors, are so much fun. Yes... perhaps, I got carried away... lol ๐Ÿ˜
.......................................................
50 Comments
She Asked Me... If She Could Hold It... ๐Ÿ˜Š
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 12:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2019 8:21 am
13859 Views
Yesterday, the temperature was minus ridiculous, as I trudged alone, along the frozen edge, of my favorite lake.
It's funny, how a random memory, can keep you warm though, right? What did it for me? I thought of the first time, any woman, ever asked me, if she could hold it ... while I peed. It was one summer...a few years back.

Lynn... remember her? She and I, were hiking, along a quiet, forest trail. I had to go and she, playfully asked me, if she could help. I looked at her. "Sure, but you gotta hurry babe. I really... gotta goย ." She scurried up behind me and reached with both her hands around my waist. She almost jammed my zipper- before finally, pulling it down.ย 

Now... the thing is... even though, I had to go, my little friend - was confused. He, got seriously curious... when he felt those warm, soft, supple fingers and Hollywood nails - trying to fish him, out. Lynn kinda fumbled about in there, feeling her way around. I know, she wasn't used to that whole, men's boxer brief bullshit, and all the options and openings.

By the time, her fingers gently, had him, pulled out... he, had other ideas, as to why, he , was supposed to be there. Stupid dick! My bladder, then silently screamed to me, and I was reminded, of what, the immediate, goal was.

I instructed Lynn, precisely. "Pull the skin back. Yeah... like that babe." She did, as she was told. Just the teeny, tiniest, drop of precum, had made its way, to the very tip of my dick. Lynn smiled and tapped her finger, on the eye of my cock, and watched... as that silvery ribbon... stretched on, forever...

"Can you stop fooling around ? I'm trying to focus! Now hold him lower, on my shaft. Yeah. Like that... Now squeeze him. Tighter babe.... Yeah! Tight, like that. Now... release the pressure of your fingers, when I tell you to, and aim... somewhere. Away from me... Ok? For starters... let's see if you can hit that tree over there... "

And she did...ย She aimed him left and right, and everywhere... giggling all the while. She even hit that tree... once or twice. I wished, it was winter. I would have challenged her, to write her name, in the snow.

"Now, shake him, to get that last drop off. " And she did that, too.

But... it wasn't, the way, I would have shaken it. Lynn, got carried away - intentionally, I presume. I had become, hard, as a granite boulder. I knew, she was having a great time, as she whispered, sweet encouragent to me. I squirmed, in her firm grasp. Her nails... and fingers... teased and raked my balls, with one hand, while she, stroked me... with the other.

I was wet, where she held me... and my legs were quivering. My toes, would have been curling, but my hiking boots, were too tight. She was in control, and she knew, exactly, what she was doing.

There was a chipmunk, up in a tree, who perved us and squeaked his appreciation, at the conclusion ... of the final result. Lynn laughed approvingly, at the end, as well. She looked up at me, with those... twinkling, blue - green eyes of hers and lustfully cooed - "Ooooo... Good boy!" And then... squeezed, and pushed ... and milked, those last drops, from me. Her hands were sticky and dripping...

I just shut my eyes, as I shivered... and quietly moaned and thought - "Damn... that was the best fricken piss, I've ever had in my life. "


....................................................
So...
How important, is a playful sense of humour, in a relationship?
Have you ever fed chipmunks or squirrels ๐Ÿฟ๏ธand other animals๐Ÿด๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฎ, from your hands?


I fed a moose once. That was a thrill. He was huge!

Here's a bonus question... for "Paul Points". Why are women so gentle, when handling a penis? I can tie mine, into a knot... ๐Ÿ˜ถ


Thanks to kimberliejo1 for reminding me...
.......................................................
30 Comments
Sex... ๐Ÿ˜ˆ Lies... ๐Ÿ˜ฑ and The Prison Mistress ๐Ÿš“
Posted:Feb 15, 2019 1:05 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2019 5:29 am
15098 Views
( By the way.. Did you know that if you clic on the pics in this post, you'll enlarge them?)

FrankeeZee, (my buddy, who's also a blogger on that other sex site - โ„ขFOGCAF ), sat at my kitchen table. He pushed his laptop towards me and smiled. "Read this Paul. I've written, a great blog. I took your advice, and I've become more descriptive. I've kinda copied your style. It's a 'think piece'. It's about my Valentine's date, from LAST year. Remember... I told you the story?" I looked at FrankeeZee, raised an eyebrow and silently admitted - that I didn't know... what the fuck, he was talking about. I put my glasses on and began to read... FrankeeZee's blog.

His words began ...

It was to be, a Valentine's date, to remember. It started, as you'd expect that day to start - with a man and a woman... and the hope, of confirming true love. Yet, it ended, with a broken heart, a shattered dream... and a seriously, maxed out credit card ! Oh... and there was a short police chase. But that... was just a small, misunderstanding.

I was happily exchanging phone calls (for months and months), with a woman I'd found online. The set up to meet, after all the anticipation, was finally organized. The moment had arrived... I was ready.

As you know, I live in Montreal. She told me, that she lived an hour away, in Ottawa. We'd agreed, that I would travel to her, and meet, at a hotel. I'd booked a penthouse suite, at the Chรขteau Laurier, and I'd made, the dinner reservations. As a surprise bonus, I'd also bought, a pair of tickets, to see the Garth Brooks concert. It was going to be, a weekend, to remember.

On the day, we were to meet, I waited for her in that posh restaurant - 'Wilfrid's'. Have you heard of it? A discreet window seat, overlooking Canada's Parliament buildings and the old Rideau locks, assured a romantic setting.
Skaters, dotted the frozen river, gliding pair by pair, in the distance. I waited impatiently. Snowflakes, fluttered, cross the street light shadows, in slow motion rhythms. Four and a half hours later, I was still sitting alone. The maรฎtre d', Bill, sauntered up to me, to let me know, they were closing... soon. I left shortly thereafter. My head was bowed and I was heartbroken. But damn, did they make a good onion soup - and really generous gin and tonics.

I spent the weekend alone, in my penthouse suite. She would have appreciated, the 20 jets, in that tub. I watched the Garth Brooks show, with an empty seat next to me .... The silhouette, of the couple in front of me, holding hands, and kissing... made my heart sink.

That woman of my dreams... eventually, contacted me, and confessed. It turns out, she missed our date, because she was residing, in a medium security prison, in Calgary... half a country away. She gets out in 2020.


I looked up, at FrankeeZee. "You couldn't figure out, earlier... that she might have been lying?"

"You know Paul...? When I think about it now... it was always, kinda strange. She'd only call me, on Tuesdays and Saturdays... between 7 and 7:30 at night. And... it was always a collect call."

I looked at FrankeeZee and blinked ...

"What's the title of your blog?"

"Oh... Good question Paul. Well.. it's a 'think piece' , like I said. Advice for men, and women, on what to look for. How to tell, if someone is lying. So... I thought, something simple - 'Don't Accept Collect Phone Calls ... "

"Hmmm... " I nodded.

" ... From Lying Bitches' , " FrankeeZee completed his sentence.

I coughed and cleared my throat... "Good advice. For sure. Yep..." I closed FrankeeZee's laptop. "What about that police chase? That small misunderstanding?"

"Yeah... well... I'm still writing, THAT blog."

I stood up and walked to the fridge. "Hey Frankee... you wanna another vodka slushie?"

"Sure. Yeah... I'll have one. Hey Paul... I'm just curious. Do you know any good lawyers?"


....................................................
So...
Why do women and men lie to each other, on hook up sites ?
Do you enjoy going to a nice hotel or restaurant?


FrankeeZee is a member and top blogger, of โ„ขFOGCAF - Friends Of Good Clean Adulterous Fun

This is a picture, of the table by the window at 'Wilfrid's' Restaurant. In the background, you'll notice the Canadian Parliament Buildings. Quite romantic... I'd say...
......................................................
40 Comments
My Fake Orgasm - A Love Story... โค๏ธ #50
Posted:Feb 12, 2019 12:32 am
Last Updated:Feb 25, 2019 8:00 am
15388 Views
It's getting closer and closer to Valentine's Day. Time for a love story, right? Have you ever faked an orgasm? It takes, a trained professional, for a man to fake, an ejaculatory climax. I've done it... and I recall, that night clearly.

I wasn't enjoying myself (probably my fault), and I just wanted it, to be over. She'd already cum, several times... or so she claimed. I did, feel her pussy clutching, clenching, drenching me, more than once. As I think about it now, perhaps- she was faking, it as well? A mutual "double fake" ? That, might have been funny and would've put, a different spin, on this story.

I was wearing a condom at the time and it was, a key piece, in the successful illusion, I performed. I waited for my cue. She whispered in my ear (the way women do) ; "Cum for me baby. Cum for me now!"

I did...

She held me tightly in her arms and I kissed her breathlessly, as I 'fake' shuddered and shivered, for the requisite number of seconds. My body, then went limp - the way men's body's do after they cum. I lay pressed on top of her, exhaling loudly. My hot breath, caressed her neck, as my sweat, mingled with hers. I reposed there... my hands, stroking her supple breasts and erect nipples. Softly, I whispered in her ear, the words she wanted to hear - "Oh my God. That felt... sooo... good." Gradually... I recovered my senses.ย 

She was quite happy. I was marginally satisfied and relieved, that it was over. More importantly, I was starving! We ordered a large pizza; pepperoni, cheese, green peppers, mushrooms - the works. Here in Montreal, we call them - "all dressed". It was, a great pizza! Oh, and... I think, I ordered a coke.


............
So...
How important... is having an orgasm?
When you crave a pizza... what do you order?

.......

I'd rather not know if someone faked it with me. Why spoil the illusion?

This story is my submission to - Virtual Symposiumย #50 Virtual Symposium Group

Thanks to CanNotBearIt, for the idea...
CanNotBearIt

........
38 Comments

To link to this blog (Paulxx001) use [blog Paulxx001] in your messages.

  Paulxx001 61M
61 M
March 2019
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
1
6
 
7
1
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
1
13
 
14
1
15
1
16
1
17
 
18
1
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31
 
           

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date
mimi44100  54M3/19
mc_justmc 58M3/19
silver4528  73M3/19
Wildcowboy187  58M3/19
ltrskr 70M3/19
HUNGFORU20042  50M3/19
sexyldy1000 58F3/19
author51 56F3/19
JudeL5  48M3/19
DocG40 63M3/18