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Both are guilty, and many men would feel that women try to drive the things like living arrangements, changing their diet, their friends, their fashion etc. That's probably old fashion, as it was an observation made some time ago and a general complaint from men The timing is everything; it's less about the right person, it's all about being in the right time and place and space mentally
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Both can and do control when and what type of relationship (from a one night to a full committed). Both can say yes and both can say no and both can ignore the other. Whether they know it or act upon it is another story. Now, where's my damn cake?  Or are you acting like you're in your "terrible 2s"?  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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dont worry you will get new opportunity
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9/24/2016 11:31 am |
Relationships; I have many. The wife I love more than anything, the guys I play cards with, my best friend Ray, and the women that I meet on here for the sole purpose of sexual relationships. We are all Gods creatures and he gave us our own self will. With that in mind we all have the ability to control situations. I might suggest that your perspective may be scewed by the fact your a woman. Perhaps the man isn't just blowing her off? maybe he has another plan. Maybe, like myself he got into it just for the sex and both parties are to blame because it went too far. My point is just this; men and women are each guilty of your charges. I don't think it's fair to classify We men. Wanna have Sex?
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I know a lot of guys won't agree with me but the woman should control the pussy. The thing is though that there needs to be some form of communication about where things stand. I disagree with the comment that men control the relationship. Relationships are controlled by both. The comments about a man not answering the phone or responding I have found tends to, at least as I view it, applies more to women not responding and communicating.
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Pussy, and all it's advantages and disadvantages, is a birthright. People are strange when you're a stranger."
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Damn it, you have me thinking again... And as you posted this I was writing my response, only I was thinking it may become a post on my blog... Damn it, *Shaking head* MissK... Lala crawled in my head too, damn it!!!
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Lady Lala, I has to be a melting of minds...for the relationship to continue and grow, there has to be give and take, He gives and she takes, this is the norm since dirt... Not to say it is always one way but if you want the relationship to prosper you got to keep her happy, sometimes it is just the little things, things that don't cost big bucks but show that you are serious about your commitment to the relationship, If you want your relationship to continue, to grow, to be lasting, Give what it takes!!!... It only hurts a little while, the bank account will recover. Make her feel like the queen of the relationship, you don't have to be a king either, just patient, pleasant, providing and putting your heart into the relationship.. You do this and she will more often have that smile, the willingness, that wanting you like to see.....Dudes, Wake up!! It is a proven fact, they do have access to more than half of the world's wealth and are sitting on anything of value.... I hope for everyone , a good day and smiles in your relationship.......lonly Stop by at lonlyforlove2 also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker" also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'
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I don't control my pussy- some days it tries to control me. That doesn't work when there is no one to play with and I am not a one-nighter type of person. "Control" is not very nice word-kind of harsh IMHO, I prefer who doe the steering. Love this post LALA (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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Does anyone really control a relationship, I think its equal for the most part..But we all have our moments..Great blog hun..hope your having a great weekend.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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have you ever gotten into a relationship (as I defined here...serious, yada yada) before YOU were ready? Sure, it was my first “serious” relationship. Had no frigging clue about how to deal with what I was getting into. 30+ years later, after only recently reconnecting with her, we have joked about it some. How many times were you ready for a relationship and she said 'no'? That has happened too, fairly recently too. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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Hi BiggLala. I've enjoyed all of my interactions with you... responding to your blogs... reading your posts to some of my blogs... listening to a song you turned me onto... and... on a personal level (without the protection of the cyberspace mask... and correcting and re-writing a particular comment)... spending four hours listening to the "LahLah" (pronunciation - yes... you corrected me... I'd had it wrong all this time... preferring "Layla"... for no reason... other than it felt right)... And, feeling is what it is all about to me... Disclaimer: These words and any and all words that I write apply to this one simple man... they do not reflect the thoughts of the 3.5 billion others that co-habitate this planet with the one that goes by "easy going" on this cyberspace site... they only reflect my thoughts... those that have been crafted by DNA unique capabilities carefully chosen from billions of options resulting in "me"... and.. all of my life experiences leading me to "here"... having stated that... continue to read at "your own risk"... What is a relationship... would one find it on a sex site... some believe that to be absolutely, positively, fucking true... Some that believe that... have 22 volumes of what they don't want on their profiles... but, give them a chance to reject you... just sayin'... -- I don't care about them... When one meets LahLah... yes... this is my response... so, I can write what I want... and, you can delete it... just sayin'... I'll start again... When one meets LahLah... reality has materialized right in front of you like a star trek transporter... I had read you for a year... commenting... reacting... OMGing... did she really write that... OMGing... was that video her... how did she not drop the camera.... but... the visual came only after the emotional attraction... you know and I know that hundreds of pretenders see your body and want to "do you"... but, of course... those may be normal thoughts... after all, we are here... but, the intercourse with someone in that kind of setting... is just a physical release... "just two bodies" by "Flight Facilities - Emma Louise" ... and... I'm not saying that's bad... but, that's what that is... a cum and run situation... you may have read my blog on that... or... it is just a one-time charity fuck... or... a "Hello it's me... thanks... and good bye"... but... that is not a relationship... who owns the relationship... two people do... I readily admit... that you can be you... just let me be me... everybody has a version of themselves that they see... sometimes... that's the same version that everyone else sees... but, most of the time... it isn't... people have many versions of themselves... what they want... what they stand for... who they want... how they want to be seen and interpreted as... I have known women over the years... where I truly have luved them... and still do... but... and, that's always the deal-breaker... the fine print in a contract... the terms and conditions... the "you didn't ask about that..."... the "I just assumed this is what you wanted"... the "blah, blah, blah..."... sometimes, we overthink a situation... the distance... the circumstance... the... did she really say and mean that... I've had women end our relationships for us... "It's me... not you"... "you deserve better"... "I'm not what you think I am"... "I'm crazy..."... "It will be better for both of us"... I'm sure you've never uttered those words... or had them dropped on you... but, it does happen... again... it takes two people to have a relationship... then... the "what is the relationship that you want"... Here... on blogland... the probability of meeting that sameone for a "relationship" is infinitely small comparing to the probability of meeting for sex... or meeting at all... I don't lose sleep over it... I read some bloggers on here... and, over time... you come to know something about them... some can paint a pretty picture... the ones that paint a totally different universe don't last long... and... for sure... I've not interacted very long with them... but. I don't push it... because... a need is being satisfied here... I've met some people thru blogs that I would not otherwise meet... I could not share discussions, songs, whatever... simply, because the mask is not there... oh, yes... I've read what is posted... and... that's all I can go by... who controls a relationship... you do... as part of that way that exists between two people. if not... then... is it a relationship... "the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected..." Define that relationship...find that person... thanks for the post... a name substitution was made in the sharing of the lyrics below... Hurts - "Wonderful Life" On a bridge across the Severn on a Saturday night LahLah meets the man of her dreams He says that he got in trouble and if she doesn't mind He doesn't want the company But there's something in the air, they share a look in silence And everything is understood LahLah grabs her man and puts a grip on his hand As the rain puts a tear in his eye She says, "Don't let go Never give up, it's such a wonderful life Don't let go Never give up, it's such a wonderful life" Driving through the city to the Temple Station Cries into the leather seat And LahLah knows the baby was a family man But the world has got him down on his knees So she throws him at the wall and kisses burn like fire And suddenly he starts to believe He takes her in his arms and he doesn't know why But… To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog: Good luck!!! 
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I think I first saw this meme (message) on littleady220's blog: Ladies, if you have to ask a man, "So what are we?" or "Where is this relationship going? " The answer is nowhere. Men are hunters by nature. We go for what we want. If he wanted you to be his lady he would have asked you. If he wanted you to be his wife he would've proposed. We go hard for what we truly want. If he's not going hard for you, you are not what he truly wants! I'm not sure it suggests men control/drive/steer this issue. It's more about communication and the male mindset. But one thing it does make clear is that if a woman has any doubts about where things are headed or needs to ask? Then she already has her answer. Uncertainty = Not Interested in Committed, Exclusive, Romantic Relationship
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I'm going to answer your question a fact that I don't think will be lost on you. In society, mother nature arranges it so there is pretty much an even mix of males and females (50/50, 51/49, etc). On this site the gender split is heavily weighted towards men and they end up vying for a small pool of women. Women, who might be modest in their everyday dress, post nude or semi nude pics because it gets men's attention. And yeah, yeah, I know they do it because they feel empower. But why do they feel empowered? because they get attention and positive comments from men. On flip side of the coin, you have mainstream dating sites such as Match, OK Cupid, etc. The gender differential is almost as skewed, but in the other direction. There are many more men than women and it is the women who are vying for a relatively small pool of men. Men, on the other hand, expose imtimate parts of themselves they might nto otherwise expose: what they want in their future, what is important to them, what their passions are in life. Why do they do it, because they know it will attract women who are looking for a relationship. You get where I'm going here? I thought you would. One of the things I believe, basaed on what I've seen and lived is that a woman will fall in love wih a man and it doesn't matter how old she is or what her circumstances are, she will do what she can to be with that man: leave another relationship, have an affair, quit school, elope, risk community scorn. On the other hand, no matter how much a man might truly love a woman, if he is not at a point he feels he needs to be to support a "RELATIONSHIP", it ain't gonna work. If he doesn't have the job, the house, the years, the wild oats sown, he's not going to get all that serious. And what that point is might not be something that is clearly delinieated, it might nto evn be something he is aware of, but he's not going to pull the trigger. I've never gotten the whole "women control the pussy" gripe. IMO, even thinking in those terms is one of the reasons there are such issues with consent in Western society tody. Who else should control the pussy but the person whose body it's a part of? If you've not getting pussy from someone you feel should be giving you more pussy, find out why and fix it. I think a lot of men underestimate how childbirth, perimenopause and menopause (natural and induced) can affect a woman's sexuality. If she's not interested in taking steps to allow you greater access to her pussy, you obviously didn't do a good enough job physically and/or emotionally for her to think it's worth the time and effort to fix (or maybe there is a trauma in her past you don't know about). If you don't have a woman in your life to give you pussy, nut up and stop acting like the thing you are trying to get. I tend to see that phrase partnered along with that hoary old chestnut, "women only want bad boys" or "women only want men with more money/bigger dicks/a nicer car/or some other BS. The statistical fact is that most people who want to be in some kind of relationship, get it, so cool your jets.
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In a sense, perhaps. He can have the option to progress in it or opt out. If you were to say, "This is great, baby. I want to get more serious with it and I want to know how you feel. I like it, but it can't continue in this manner. What do you think?" If he can't, or won't, tell ya what's going on in his little head and make a decision? He's controlling you not the direction of the relationship. Then I think one, or both, of ya should call it quits. ********DISCLAIMER***************** what I say means nothing in any way. this is all just theoretical, right? Be careful she is really really good at the black mail thing. The Lalaverse Hood & Trust is a front for “someone’s” ooohhh shall we say “gray area” activities. And she has made a friggin fortune at it. The ownership was skillfully set up by me under a number of shell corporations, trusts, holding companies, off shore shadow entities and aliases out of the Cayman Islands. To paraphrase Winston Churchill “It is a riddle, wrapped in a shadow, inside a tax haven ”. Hell, I buried it so well I can’t even dig it up now, but the rum in the Caymans is really tasty. BTW the Caymans are a lovely place to visit. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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Waaaiiit a second here...shell corps, buried deep, Cayman Islands...I knew I'd seen you somewhere before. I knew it!! [image]  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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EA2 you know I love ya . . . but (or butt since this IS a sex site ) . . . I had essentially 'I am not looking for a relationship but totally open to one if it happens.' on an earlier version of my profile and that is exactly what I meant. If things were right between a woman I met I would have been up for a long term relationship. But that is a two way street and a number of the women I've met were afraid of a longer commitment. I wrote about one of those Have You Been Hurt And What Do You Learn here. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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You know... The way i handle things is, i just let her pay for everything. I sleep at her place and never do the dishes. I also shadow her to work and stay unemployed till our relationship starts to blossom.
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The less eager one seems to have the control.  Vive La Difference
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All to often us women who consider ourselves liberated and independent still have a hard time being the aggressor when it comes to men. As I wrote in a blog Who Initiates Contact Men or Women we tend to wait for men to make the first move. And when we finally get together we still allow men to control where the relationship is going. I am always amazed that women in this day and age expect to be proposed to instead of making a mutual decision to get married. I am not saying men don't get rejected too. But there is a prevailing old fashioned feeling among women that men make the decision.
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Completely true. My vagina is rarely good enough just for sex, let alone a relationship. It's just how it goes.
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All to often us women who consider ourselves liberated and independent still have a hard time being the aggressor when it comes to men. As I wrote in a blog Who Initiates Contact Men or Women we tend to wait for men to make the first move. And when we finally get together we still allow men to control where the relationship is going. I am always amazed that women in this day and age expect to be proposed to instead of making a mutual decision to get married. I am not saying men don't get rejected too. But there is a prevailing old fashioned feeling among women that men make the decision. , women didn’t have a vote and were in some cases were “owned”. Rightfully women wanted to be liberated and equal to men and they got it. Now some (not all) don’t act like they are liberated and equal. Confusing to some, if not many, including moi.  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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I trusted you and in one fail swoop you destroy all my careful strategic planning. I'm shocked...nay, appalled. I...I cannot...I have no words...I...I... I have 3 words “the check bounced”. You're still fired though. Please turn in your Black Card by the end of business today! 3 more words “I don’t work for you . . . you work for me. Check how the contract was worded”. OK that was a few more than 3 words. ...luh you too  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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if it is not a just sex relationship, they both do. if it's just sex, whoever wants it less does if people are acting like grownups and not hormone driven teens, one would hope the to people would be having conversations and discussing what they wanted. maybe....even.....compromising You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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I agree with you, it is like finding a unicorn pissing on a leprechaun....
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It's a shame that women are not attracted to the men who want to settle down right now. But we've seen that for thousands of years. Heartbreak is defined by your expectation of the opposite sex, and every magical wand or kazoo snf every flocvk od seaguls eho showk, My featured post this week: Pulling Fantasy Sex Out of My Ass.
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From my own perspective, I'd say I mostly agree with your assessment - however, from what I've also seen a great many women seem to expect that behavior, and get seriously weirded out if I guy let's them have the reins to overall the relationship (before they are married at least) ....or there's any other sort of role-reversal from the traditional/stereotypical roles. Granted that's just my perspective, and I'm a little weird, but from what I've seen I think what you're describing has become something of an expected norm that when not followed throw many people for a loop.... Just for my own intellectual curiosity, how often have you seen a woman pursue a man like most guys pursue sex/women?
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Honestly! It's 2016! Why do some men still struggle with the my body my rules thing?? It's not like I go around pressuring men to have sex with me  I agree, to a certain extent, that men do seem to be in a bit more control of when and how a relationship progresses. My disagreement comes in who gives them that power. I think women (ok, maybe it's just me) are too quick to give men that power. We're too willing to wait around while they make up their minds about us. I'm a rehabilitated hanger-on. I just can't waste any more time on a man who can't have an honest discussion about his feelings or who can't figure out what the hell he really wants. Life is too short and too precious to waste it on people who aren't moving in the same direction as I am.
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I wouldn't necessarily say it's entirely an error in reading or writing ....but perhaps one of drastically different experiences and frames of reference in this instance. I might be misremembering, but I think at least one of my male cousins was actually proposed to by his wife (well either that or she made it so abundantly clear that he was practically told to propose  ), and I'm rather positive there is at least one other cousin that was initially asked out by his wife. .... actually now that I think about it, I'm not so sure one of my uncles on the other side of the family didn't go through something similar with his current wife. Might just be my perception, but between those cases I can recall at the moment and a few others (think a male coworker/friend had a similar experience with his current wife) it almost seems like the relationship ends up being a happier and longer lasting one when the woman either initiates it or takes a very active role in driving it and the man realizes she's actually good company and worth keeping around. Personally my attitude has gotten to be more like: If 'she' wants to be around, 'she'll' be around, if not then not. As much time as I've spent on my own being alone, and as much as I've put up with companionship would be nice, but thus far it hasn't exactly panned out to be something that's worth putting much effort into for my part anymore..... ...'course then again I'm an oddity so there is that too  On the flip side some of the most miserable marriages I think I've seen are ones where "he" pursued "her" and "she" eventually agreed (even though it's not entirely clear "she" really knew what "she" wanted, or didn't just "give in")
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9/29/2016 9:45 pm |
First, awesome topic, I loved reading it and everyone perspectives on it. But mine is probably very different than everyone else in that I do not even seem to get to the point of being concerned about who has control over whose genitailia in that I seem to lack the whatever it takes to actually meet women, well from this site, or any dating site for that matter. Men control the relationship, maybe after it has started, but lets face it most of the men on this site are never even going to meet a woman from the site in Real Life. Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.
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Interesting
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It depends on the people involved I believe more than anything else. If your talking to a player, dont expect something great to come out of it as thats all it is to that person. I would imagine some out here are looking for more than just sex as that's easily had by anyone, man or woman, who takes 2 minutes to find it. Either way I wish you the best and next year, I WANT A PIECE OF THE CAKE as I joined a few days late it seems, lol.
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