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AWOL  

kzoopair 73M/71F
8610 posts
12/3/2016 10:01 am
AWOL


I’ve been absent for a while- not posting or reading and commenting on blogs. I miss it, too, and I miss my friends here. My mother’s health hasn’t been good. She’s eighty seven years old and her kidneys are failing, probably caused by a fairly rare autoimmune disorder that causes B cells in her body to attack and damage organs. She had an infusion with a drug commonly used to treat cancer patients but that drug itself often has some serious side effects. We can’t say that the infusion was either a success or a failure but the side effects- the cure- may be as bad as the disease.

Thanksgiving this year was a somber affair. My dad talked with me and was clearly putting his affairs in order without actually announcing it as such. He handed over all his passwords and financial data to my younger sister and I.

The following Saturday he called me in the morning and was at the end of his rope dealing with Mom’s illness. Pam and I talked about that and decided Mom probably should be back in hospital. She had just been discharged a week before from a week long stay. It turned out that due to her poor appetite and hydration that the levels of certain crucial elements in her body were dropping and she might not have survived the night without immediate treatment.

So- I’ve been spending most of my waking hours at the hospital and trying to arrange for long term care for her, partly for her and partly for my dad, who can’t be expected to manage all this by himself. By Wednesday we had found and hired a home health care service and some chore providers to visit daily at their home- a huge relief for all of us. On Thursday we toured an assisted living facility, trying to get an idea of what that might be like for them. The place is right around the corner from Pam and I…and that’s about the best that can be said for it. My folks want to stay at home and after seeing that sparkling new and antiseptic…sterile…place, I want them to stay at home too. There may have to be such a move some day, even soon, but we’ll all be glad to put it off as long as possible.

Mom is finished with the diagnostic phase and now the doctors are trying to treat and eliminate the symptoms that are the side effects of her infusion treatment. She began eating again yesterday and actually had some appetite. I called her this morning and she not only sounded better than she has in a month but had finished her breakfast- and liked it. She has a physical therapist who walks her and supervises her exercise, and she had done that too. So today I get a break. I’m headed there to stay with her as soon as I post this.

I know very well that given her age and her frail condition she may not be able to weather this. Our goal is that she spend whatever time is left to her as comfortably as we can make it. And we, the family, want to relieve my dad of the weight of responsibility he’s been carrying. It’s a waiting game, wait and see, make plans and amend or abandon them and there’s nothing we can do to change that.

I miss you all, and I miss talking to you in the blogs. I may get some time this week to catch up. You folks are always in my thoughts.


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pocogato12 71F  
37235 posts
12/3/2016 10:14 am

You have been in my thoughts and hugs for days, both you and Pam. Tough row to be in for all, especially your parents, who need the help and intervention services but do not want to give up their home comfort and what freedom they have. You both are loved by many of us and love is sent unconditionally
PS I wlll send you a private note- hope it helps

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dayzeeme 55F
7024 posts
12/3/2016 10:14 am

oh hun, my thoughts are with you as you go through this. Seeing it from both sides, I know how hard this stuff is to watch, arrange, endure, and experience. I wish you all strength and love as this goes on. Remember to take time for yourself as well ... it is important for family to get rest, so that you CAN be there for them in your best capacity! Take care. Hugs!!!


myelin36 53F
3612 posts
12/3/2016 10:22 am

Sending warm thoughts and hugs to you.

xoxo,
myelin

Visit my blog:myelin36. Come read my Dirty Little Secrets


wickedeasy 74F
32404 posts
12/3/2016 10:26 am

oh dearest Bill and Pam. this is a hard time. you have indeed been blessed to have such a long time with your mom and dad but nothing takes away the the sting of watching those you love in pain.

spend the time. it's the best of times and the worst of times...smiles. but it is time that you will be forever grateful to have spent. talk about all the silly things you did as a family. say the words I love you over and over. remind them both of how they live on in your hearts.

we've all turned lights on for you here. you live in our hearts too you know.

I already love you far more than I should for knowing you such a short time. but it seems like I've known you forever.

Margie

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


NaughtyInSO 113F
9755 posts
12/3/2016 10:45 am

My dearest friend, I love you and Pam and feel like you're part of my family. I walked in your shoes some years ago - it isn't easy or simple even with the help you've hired. Stay strong, spend as much time as you can with your Mom and Dad but, at the same time, don't forget about your own health and sanity.
We don't know what life has in store for us, keeping focused on positive, taking time to enjoy small things helps to deal with challenges.

My heart is with you and Pam. Sending oceans of good thoughts and positive energy your way!

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Annie_34 65T
5945 posts
12/3/2016 11:03 am

Bonjour Kzoopair
Tu as tout mon soutien dans ces moments difficiles et mes pensées affectueuses
♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥


Hello Kzoopair
You have all my support in these difficult times and my affectionate thoughts
♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥


Notre vie est un voyage-♦-Dans l'hiver et dans la nuit
Nous cherchons notre passage-♦-Dans le ciel où rien ne luit .

Pour laisser un message cliquer ici Boite aux lettres secrete Annie
Sommaire du blog Annie la Pute


nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/3/2016 11:37 am

Bill,

My friend, I know how hard that can be, I have been worry about your own health and sanity. I actually have. I have though of you, your wife Pam, your dad and your Mom all these days. I know you guys have it hard. I feel bad for the whole situation. cause you guys need a good rest too. that is why I kept in touch bothering you, I just wanted to know that you were fine. didn't meant to bug you with the text or phone calls. I just need to talk you, let you know that I was there pulling for you and your family.

You are a wonderful friend and an excellent son. you are there for your parents and friends when they need you. that is very admirable. takes courage. I am sure your friends will be there for you too if you ever need them. I know I do and will. when I said I could take time off to go help look after your mom if you need it. I meant it. I honestly did.

I can't wait to meet you guys next month. I am so looking forward to that.


tommy609z 64M
576 posts
12/3/2016 11:38 am

prayers to you and your family Kzoo. May your mother kick you out of their house because she is feeling better.


Tmptrzz 61F  
107039 posts
12/3/2016 11:42 am

I am so sorry to hear that your moms health is failing, its extremely hard when we have to take care of our parents. I hope things get settled soon, so that you can get back to blogging and chatting with your friends here, you have been missed..

Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on..


spunkycumfun 63M/69F
41171 posts
12/3/2016 1:18 pm

You have been greatly missed here. There has been an attempted coup of the site organised by the Trumpets and Trumpettes but it was repelled but reinforcements are desperately needed!
Seriously I suspect you're on a roller coaster of a ride with your parents. I'm with you. Take care my beautiful friend. x (and that's a European kiss!)


HamburgDave2 80M
16526 posts
12/3/2016 1:35 pm

Bill, Huge Hugs for you and Pam So glad to hear that your Mom sounded better this morning

I have been there my Friend, I know how hard it is for you, my thoughts are with you, and your family


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sexysixties2 106F
39750 posts
12/3/2016 1:45 pm

Huge hugs for you both my friend. It's never easy to see our parents failing....make beautiful memories in the time you still have together. I wish I had lived closer to mine when their time came.

"Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age."

~~Anais Nin~~


BrownEyedBBW 55F  
8831 posts
12/3/2016 2:18 pm

If you haven't, check with your local government. In some states, counties have special division dedicated to the elderly that can help you with resource and information, including respite care (which is an important thing that gets overlooked too often!)


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
12/3/2016 3:34 pm

Ah , it's an awful time for you both, and for your folks. But you know, they are lucky to have such a devoted son and daughter in law. I bet your folks beam with pride when they ever have the chance to think about that!

As the lovely McNice says, please do look after yourselves too in all of this.

Thinking of you all.......


LiveLifeDoU 69F  
2199 posts
12/3/2016 3:52 pm

Hugs to you and your family....sending some positive thoughts your way for the strength you all need. Your mom and your dad are both lucky to have you, Pam, your sister and all your family to help them through this.


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 3:57 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    You have been in my thoughts and hugs for days, both you and Pam. Tough row to be in for all, especially your parents, who need the help and intervention services but do not want to give up their home comfort and what freedom they have. You both are loved by many of us and love is sent unconditionally
    PS I wlll send you a private note- hope it helps
Thank you Poco. Our situation could be much worse- my folks are well off so money is no issue and my sisters are on the same page about care that Pam and I are. We make a good team and work well together.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:00 pm

    Quoting dayzeeme:
    oh hun, my thoughts are with you as you go through this. Seeing it from both sides, I know how hard this stuff is to watch, arrange, endure, and experience. I wish you all strength and love as this goes on. Remember to take time for yourself as well ... it is important for family to get rest, so that you CAN be there for them in your best capacity! Take care. Hugs!!!
Hugs Dayzee. Today was a respite day for us. Mom was feeling so well when we got there that we only stayed a while and went out for dinner. She was studying her menu and got me hungry for meatloaf with mashed potatoes and gravy...so we went out in pursuit of that.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:01 pm

    Quoting myelin36:
    Sending warm thoughts and hugs to you.

    xoxo,
    myelin
Thank you dear.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:19 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    oh dearest Bill and Pam. this is a hard time. you have indeed been blessed to have such a long time with your mom and dad but nothing takes away the the sting of watching those you love in pain.

    spend the time. it's the best of times and the worst of times...smiles. but it is time that you will be forever grateful to have spent. talk about all the silly things you did as a family. say the words I love you over and over. remind them both of how they live on in your hearts.

    we've all turned lights on for you here. you live in our hearts too you know.

    I already love you far more than I should for knowing you such a short time. but it seems like I've known you forever.

    Margie
Ah, Margie, thank you. I feel the same about you.

I think we've had a false sense of security here. My folks have had medical issues certainly but they've been pretty healthy for a couple their age. They've been married sixty seven years. They're fiercely independent too- they've made a habit of turning down help. It's been hardest on my dad to ask for help now, but he bit the bullet and did it.

I've given them all the space they wanted and now it's quite a change to be constantly at their sides. And that's I suppose the most I can do for them now- just be there and help make the decisions that they're too confused to make. I have to admit I sort of enjoy nagging Mom to eat and take her meds. She even laughs about it herself. I gave her fits growing up and now she thinks she's getting even. I told her I'm still way ahead on points so don't go getting cocky about it.



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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:29 pm

    Quoting NaughtyInSO:
    My dearest friend, I love you and Pam and feel like you're part of my family. I walked in your shoes some years ago - it isn't easy or simple even with the help you've hired. Stay strong, spend as much time as you can with your Mom and Dad but, at the same time, don't forget about your own health and sanity.
    We don't know what life has in store for us, keeping focused on positive, taking time to enjoy small things helps to deal with challenges.

    My heart is with you and Pam. Sending oceans of good thoughts and positive energy your way!
I love you too, Pet. You know that my dad and I have never gotten along. It feels strange to find him relying on me this way. We can be a hard headed group, my family. I have to give him credit though- he loves my mom and he knew he wasn't able to deal with her illness so he swallowed his pride and asked for help. If you know him you know that was hard for him to do.

Today Mom was doing a lot better. I hadn't dared to hope she'd improve so much in the two days since her new meds were given to her. Friday she was bitching about not having enough noodles in her soup and today she was studying her menu like she was building a Mars probe. If she keeps getting better at this rate- I hope!- I may have my work cut out for me to keep her in the hospital. She has to demonstrate that she can keep hydrated and take the potassium pills that she hates on her own, without IV's and nurses. That could take another week.



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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:31 pm

    Quoting Annie_34:
    Bonjour Kzoopair
    Tu as tout mon soutien dans ces moments difficiles et mes pensées affectueuses
    ♥ Bisou ♥ Poton ♥ Annie ♥


    Hello Kzoopair
    You have all my support in these difficult times and my affectionate thoughts
    ♥ Kiss ♥ Annie ♥

Thank you Annie! I appreciate that so much.

Merci Annie ! J'apprécie cela tellement.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:33 pm

    Quoting rockkickass69v2:
    Hope all goes well Kzoo.
    Know what it's like to care for ailing parents & wish you the best.
Thanks Rock. Today went better, but there are still gonna be some hard times ahead.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:45 pm

    Quoting nicelipss66:
    Bill,

    My friend, I know how hard that can be, I have been worry about your own health and sanity. I actually have. I have though of you, your wife Pam, your dad and your Mom all these days. I know you guys have it hard. I feel bad for the whole situation. cause you guys need a good rest too. that is why I kept in touch bothering you, I just wanted to know that you were fine. didn't meant to bug you with the text or phone calls. I just need to talk you, let you know that I was there pulling for you and your family.

    You are a wonderful friend and an excellent son. you are there for your parents and friends when they need you. that is very admirable. takes courage. I am sure your friends will be there for you too if you ever need them. I know I do and will. when I said I could take time off to go help look after your mom if you need it. I meant it. I honestly did.

    I can't wait to meet you guys next month. I am so looking forward to that.
I'll take care of my folks but I might need you to come and take care of me!

And what's this nonsense about bothering me? I love talking to you! I'd be sad if you didn't call me. But I have been distracted, that's for sure. Up till about mid week we were pretty frantic. None of us really knows how to do any of this stuff and we were winging it, learning as we go. Now we have a plan and have bought ourselves some time, I hope. And I'm lucky too that I have a smart and capable wife. She thinks of things that never occur to me.

I'm looking forward to seeing you too, Thalia. The trip is still on as far as I know, barring catastrophe! We got a break today and with a little luck it will smooth out a bit more. Thalia, thanks for being such a thoughtful friend.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:47 pm

    Quoting tommy609z:
    prayers to you and your family Kzoo. May your mother kick you out of their house because she is feeling better.
Thanks! That would be fine by me! She's been kicking me out of her hospital room all week but I refused to go.

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KItkat1415 61F  
20051 posts
12/3/2016 4:47 pm

I am sending you my extra patience... mind you, it's not a lot. And my well wishes for as happy a Christmas as you can have with your mother...
Kk

The observant make the best lovers,
I may not do right, but I do write,
I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life,
Kitkat
Come check out my blog
KItkat1415
check out this post by me
Adventures In Body Grooming
#39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath
If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:49 pm

    Quoting Tmptrzz:
    I am so sorry to hear that your moms health is failing, its extremely hard when we have to take care of our parents. I hope things get settled soon, so that you can get back to blogging and chatting with your friends here, you have been missed..
Thank you Tmptrzz. I'm grateful for your kind words.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:53 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks, hinj1- I really am thankful that you stopped by to say that. I very much appreciate your kindness.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 4:59 pm

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    You have been greatly missed here. There has been an attempted coup of the site organised by the Trumpets and Trumpettes but it was repelled but reinforcements are desperately needed!
    Seriously I suspect you're on a roller coaster of a ride with your parents. I'm with you. Take care my beautiful friend. x (and that's a European kiss!)
For my part I'm grateful that you were here to handle things. I knew the place was in good hands with you on duty.

A rollercoaster is just what it was like, Spunky. We're learning as we go. My sister finally got fed up and tracked down a coordinator to help steer our searches. We managed up to this point but it'll be a relief to be able to rely on a pro. Kisses back at you my friend. I'm secure in my sexuality. And, what the hell, if we keep kissing like this we may each learn some things about ourselves.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:01 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you Vixen. You know well that you're always in my thoughts.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:05 pm

    Quoting HamburgDave2:
    Bill, Huge Hugs for you and Pam So glad to hear that your Mom sounded better this morning

    I have been there my Friend, I know how hard it is for you, my thoughts are with you, and your family
Thanks so much, Dave. Now if Mom will just start bitching and griping again I'll know she's really on the mend. My mother is quite a stern taskmaster!

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:10 pm

    Quoting sexysixties2:
    Huge hugs for you both my friend. It's never easy to see our parents failing....make beautiful memories in the time you still have together. I wish I had lived closer to mine when their time came.
We're grateful that they are so close. When they're finally ready to move- if we can get to that point- we'll try to locate them even closer. My dad was pretty open to the idea and I thought we ought to strike while the iron was hot. And then we toured that damned senior community. He and I had the same reaction- "Fuck this!" He may need it some day, but he ain't going gentle into that good night!

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:16 pm

    Quoting BrownEyedBBW:
    If you haven't, check with your local government. In some states, counties have special division dedicated to the elderly that can help you with resource and information, including respite care (which is an important thing that gets overlooked too often!)
That's good advice, and we did do that. My younger sister got frustrated with us doing all our own research and having to scrap our plans and begin again more than once. My folks have an attorney who specializes in elder law and she called and asked for an expert coordinator who knew everything that was available to senior citizens in this county- and she got one. We learned a lot doing it on our own, but this will be easier and I think even more informative.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:28 pm

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Ah , it's an awful time for you both, and for your folks. But you know, they are lucky to have such a devoted son and daughter in law. I bet your folks beam with pride when they ever have the chance to think about that!

    As the lovely McNice says, please do look after yourselves too in all of this.

    Thinking of you all.......
Thank you.

My wife is indeed devoted to my folks. They've treated her far better than her own kin ever did. They do know we'll do our best for them.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:31 pm

    Quoting LiveLifeDoU:
    Hugs to you and your family....sending some positive thoughts your way for the strength you all need. Your mom and your dad are both lucky to have you, Pam, your sister and all your family to help them through this.
Thank you dear. I do appreciate my family especially right now. We work well together and don't quarrel.

Are we going to see you in Washington, D.C. next month? I do hope so!

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:32 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you, Schoolmarm. Today looks better. I'm sure we'll have other bad times, but our fingers are crossed right now that Mom's at least temporarily better.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:37 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you Lisa. My folks have had their health problems but have done remarkably well, considering they're eighty seven and independent. Mom's health has been in sort of a downward spiral this year though, and she gave us quite a scare- more than one- these last few weeks. I'll still keep teasing her and trying to make her laugh for as long as I can.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 5:41 pm

    Quoting KItkat1415:
    I am sending you my extra patience... mind you, it's not a lot. And my well wishes for as happy a Christmas as you can have with your mother...
    Kk
You can't really know how much help you've already been, but I'm sure you know I'll continue to rely on you, and to need you. Thank you KItkat.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 6:59 pm

    Quoting  :

We're trying. Thanks for stopping by, Azriel.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 7:01 pm

    Quoting  :

My folks don't want to move, and I've always hoped they wouldn't have to. We can get the outside help- I just hope it's enough.

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Furbal1972 51M
18571 posts
12/3/2016 7:10 pm



I am commiserating with you during these difficult times.

I see and feel so many parallels to what I was going through about three years ago. Your perspective is unique, and I don't want to make this about me.

I am totally with you about wanting to keep them out of an antiseptic place. (Some aren't so antiseptic. They're just pathetic.) Home is the place to be.

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sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
12/3/2016 7:27 pm

First off I have missed you int blogland. Hang in there for your Mom. My prayers go out to you and your family Bill. It is a very hard time of theater to be dealing with this. Caught up when you can we understand hugs V

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tickles4us 62M
7262 posts
12/3/2016 8:28 pm

I hope your Moms health continues to improve and things all work out well. It would be good to continue looking into options and to be ready if and when they decide to move out of their home. Hopefully you can make arrangements to have help for them at home. My parents just sold their house this summer and moved to a single floor residence as it was troublesome for them to go up and down the stairs.

Vive La Difference


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 8:42 pm

    Quoting Furbal1972:


    I am commiserating with you during these difficult times.

    I see and feel so many parallels to what I was going through about three years ago. Your perspective is unique, and I don't want to make this about me.

    I am totally with you about wanting to keep them out of an antiseptic place. (Some aren't so antiseptic. They're just pathetic.) Home is the place to be.
The decision finally has to be with my folks. I'm trying to advise and show them some options. Like I said, we were pretty open minded until we actually visited. After that, my dad said it looked and felt and sounded like some place where people go to wait to die. I reckon any place I live is that...but I knew what he meant. He wanted the best thing for his wife, but that assisted living joint creeped him out.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 8:47 pm

    Quoting sweet_VM:
    First off I have missed you int blogland. Hang in there for your Mom. My prayers go out to you and your family Bill. It is a very hard time of theater to be dealing with this. Caught up when you can we understand hugs V
I've missed you too, V. I've looked in every day but I was too distracted to focus on the place.

We'll get this sorted out. It might take some time.

Huggggs B

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/3/2016 8:53 pm

    Quoting tickles4us:
    I hope your Moms health continues to improve and things all work out well. It would be good to continue looking into options and to be ready if and when they decide to move out of their home. Hopefully you can make arrangements to have help for them at home. My parents just sold their house this summer and moved to a single floor residence as it was troublesome for them to go up and down the stairs.
We've considered an apartment too. I suppose we'll keep looking but after that one look at a place that isn't his home, I get the feeling he's never going to agree to move. Hell, I even agreed with him. They've been living in that house at the lake for fifty years.

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japaneseass 56F  
50231 posts
12/4/2016 6:39 am

you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts...sending lots and lots of postive energy your way.


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 8:26 am

    Quoting japaneseass:
    you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts...sending lots and lots of postive energy your way.
Thank you, JA.

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smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
12/4/2016 10:09 am

So hard. Seems to me like mid-80's is when our parents get frail and have a lot more challenges with weathering illnesses. The assisted living decision is hard too. I would just say be aware that even though the environment might seem "sterile", the main thing is that you're nearby and can visit often. It's the people that make a situation good or bad, not necessarily the surroundings


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 2:00 pm

    Quoting smartasswoman:
    So hard. Seems to me like mid-80's is when our parents get frail and have a lot more challenges with weathering illnesses. The assisted living decision is hard too. I would just say be aware that even though the environment might seem "sterile", the main thing is that you're nearby and can visit often. It's the people that make a situation good or bad, not necessarily the surroundings
"...it's the people..." You said it. And my old man doesn't much like people! We're gonna try home health care, with a nurse coming in daily to whip my mom into shape, and we've arranged to have Mom's cleaning woman expand her services. Mom already likes her and she's a hell of a good cook, so that looked like a good option.

Things look a lot better this weekend than they did even when I wrote this post. We didn't dare hope that she'd feel this much better. So although she still has a lot of improving to do, she looks and acts more like Mom now. They aren't so far away that we can't look in on them more often when she goes home. So that's what we'll do.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 2:02 pm

    Quoting  :

Thanks Cinnamon. As I mentioned to Smarty above, the situation has improved rather dramatically in just the last two days. I hope that trend continues!

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nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 2:47 pm

    Quoting kzoopair:
    I'll take care of my folks but I might need you to come and take care of me!

    And what's this nonsense about bothering me? I love talking to you! I'd be sad if you didn't call me. But I have been distracted, that's for sure. Up till about mid week we were pretty frantic. None of us really knows how to do any of this stuff and we were winging it, learning as we go. Now we have a plan and have bought ourselves some time, I hope. And I'm lucky too that I have a smart and capable wife. She thinks of things that never occur to me.

    I'm looking forward to seeing you too, Thalia. The trip is still on as far as I know, barring catastrophe! We got a break today and with a little luck it will smooth out a bit more. Thalia, thanks for being such a thoughtful friend.
Well, I knew that you were busy and there I was calling hahaha,

Well, let's hope everything goes according to plan and you guys make the trip. I promise to take to you and Pam to Ihop for a good breakfast, show you around the city, and then have you guys over for dinner at my place. will be an honor to share a meal with you guys. I have a little nice cozy, positive, happy place, you will like it


nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 3:37 pm

Btw, Kzoo, how many days are you guys going to be here and from what day to what day?


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 4:37 pm

    Quoting nicelipss66:
    Well, I knew that you were busy and there I was calling hahaha,

    Well, let's hope everything goes according to plan and you guys make the trip. I promise to take to you and Pam to Ihop for a good breakfast, show you around the city, and then have you guys over for dinner at my place. will be an honor to share a meal with you guys. I have a little nice cozy, positive, happy place, you will like it
Can I expect that at least one of those meals ends up as a blog post for you?

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 4:41 pm

    Quoting  :

I do know. My folks have always been very independent, and they still want to be. I think if we work at it we might be able to keep them at home...provided we don't have a catastrophe of some kind.

And thank you, dear. Hugs back!

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 4:43 pm

    Quoting nicelipss66:
    Btw, Kzoo, how many days are you guys going to be here and from what day to what day?
We plan to arrive on Friday the 20th and leave Monday the 23rd.

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nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 4:56 pm

    Quoting kzoopair:
    Can I expect that at least one of those meals ends up as a blog post for you?
Jerk Hahahaha


nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 4:58 pm

    Quoting kzoopair:
    We plan to arrive on Friday the 20th and leave Monday the 23rd.
Good, maybe I can do Dinner Saturday Night


nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 5:00 pm

When is the march thing, what day?

Cause maybe I can make dinner Saturday night and take you guys to Breakfast on Sunday or Monday. depending on what day is that march.


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 6:23 pm

I can stay home and jerk...

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 6:25 pm

    Quoting nicelipss66:
    When is the march thing, what day?

    Cause maybe I can make dinner Saturday night and take you guys to Breakfast on Sunday or Monday. depending on what day is that march.
The march takes place the 21st, Saturday. Are you gonna march with us?

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 6:42 pm

    Quoting  :

Thank you Kinky. It's good to see you again. How are you doing?

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nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 6:47 pm

    Quoting kzoopair:
    The march takes place the 21st, Saturday. Are you gonna march with us?
I don't think so, cause I will have to be getting stuff ready for my dinner


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/4/2016 6:57 pm

    Quoting nicelipss66:
    I don't think so, cause I will have to be getting stuff ready for my dinner
Thanks for inviting us, Thalia. We'd really enjoy having dinner at your place.

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ranchomongo 70M

12/4/2016 8:11 pm

OH Kz
Sue and you must do what you need to do.
it is the hardest thing to take over "as parents" of you parents so to speak.
I had to do it with both of my parents also. My Dad first and well then all the stuff , for my mom..
the best thing I could say was I was so happy my mom had her burial stuff all picked out and done..
We didn't have to do any thing that way. and my uncle, my moms, sisters husband died the day before my mom...
So we had two services of each to go to in two different towns one day apart.

it takes a lot out of you and sometimes you don t know if you ll get though it.
plus , there is your life to live too.

I wish you well, and I ll be praying for all of you.
be strong, and remember to steal some time for yourselves when you can.
Even and hour.
Peace.


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nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/4/2016 8:40 pm

    Quoting kzoopair:
    Thanks for inviting us, Thalia. We'd really enjoy having dinner at your place.
It will be fun. I can't wait myself.


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/5/2016 8:33 am

    Quoting ranchomongo:
    OH Kz
    Sue and you must do what you need to do.
    it is the hardest thing to take over "as parents" of you parents so to speak.
    I had to do it with both of my parents also. My Dad first and well then all the stuff , for my mom..
    the best thing I could say was I was so happy my mom had her burial stuff all picked out and done..
    We didn't have to do any thing that way. and my uncle, my moms, sisters husband died the day before my mom...
    So we had two services of each to go to in two different towns one day apart.

    it takes a lot out of you and sometimes you don t know if you ll get though it.
    plus , there is your life to live too.

    I wish you well, and I ll be praying for all of you.
    be strong, and remember to steal some time for yourselves when you can.
    Even and hour.
    Peace.
I'm fortunate in that I'm retired and don't have to try to find time away from work to do any of this. It's a lot of stress as it is- I don't know how people juggle work and kids and this too, I really don't. We're getting a little bit of a break right now. Mom's already feeling better. I wasn't sure we'd get to see that.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/5/2016 8:35 am

    Quoting joisygirl:
    Hiya Bill, I'm sorry to here this news. I hope all goes smoothly for you and your family. I know how difficult this is and what a change it is as well. There is no need to do any catching up with me here, as I am rarely really here or have anything at all to say anymore. Bye for now.
Thanks for that, dear. It's nice to see you here again.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/6/2016 9:14 am

    Quoting  :

I'm glad to hear you're feeling well and making progress. Keep up the good work!

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08540Tantrafun 60M  
1072 posts
12/6/2016 9:36 am

to you and Pam. Bill You have read many of my posts from years past about recuperating after cancer and other auto immune diseases. Cheat sheet: Turmeric tablets gets rid of residue from medications and also is a antiinflamatory. Ginger& Garlic tablets- anti inflammatory, liver booster. One side effect of ginger is, it is a blood thinner like asprin. People with low blood pressure have to be very careful with ginger. great for others. CoQ10 tablets will boost cellular energy and helps with recovery. If you can get goat milk/products, that would be great as well. Goat milk and A2 milk from cows are better for digestion and much healthier. Mustard and cruciferous veggies are great. the sulfur in mustard/ginger/garlic is great for flushing out the shit that doctors put in. Instead of storing it in fat cells for ever.
Bill, It is not as complicated as it sounds. buy "cruciferous crunch shredded salad" at Trader Joe’s make or buy avocado dressing and add coconut oil to it. "Apple cider vinegar with mother". Take a turmeric and Coq10 400mg tablet in the morning and at night. Use goat milk/ or A2/A2 milk instead of regular milk. Use mustard on burgers or wheatever else. Honey instead of sugar. Use range fed chicken eggs(better omega ratio) instead of regular.This is deceptively simple but makes a huge difference.

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/6/2016 9:53 am

    Quoting 08540Tantrafun:
    to you and Pam. Bill You have read many of my posts from years past about recuperating after cancer and other auto immune diseases. Cheat sheet: Turmeric tablets gets rid of residue from medications and also is a antiinflamatory. Ginger& Garlic tablets- anti inflammatory, liver booster. One side effect of ginger is, it is a blood thinner like asprin. People with low blood pressure have to be very careful with ginger. great for others. CoQ10 tablets will boost cellular energy and helps with recovery. If you can get goat milk/products, that would be great as well. Goat milk and A2 milk from cows are better for digestion and much healthier. Mustard and cruciferous veggies are great. the sulfur in mustard/ginger/garlic is great for flushing out the shit that doctors put in. Instead of storing it in fat cells for ever.
    Bill, It is not as complicated as it sounds. buy "cruciferous crunch shredded salad" at Trader Joe’s make or buy avocado dressing and add coconut oil to it. "Apple cider vinegar with mother". Take a turmeric and Coq10 400mg tablet in the morning and at night. Use goat milk/ or A2/A2 milk instead of regular milk. Use mustard on burgers or wheatever else. Honey instead of sugar. Use range fed chicken eggs(better omega ratio) instead of regular.This is deceptively simple but makes a huge difference.
Thanks, Kama. I appreciate the health tips. Yesterday Pam was trying to convince Mom that ginger is good for her...but it's going to be an uphill battle! We'll try though.

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nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
12/6/2016 11:04 pm

Just saying Hello


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/7/2016 5:53 am

Hello, sweetheart.

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missthee 58F  
4511 posts
12/15/2016 2:37 am

I wish you courage and patience.


kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/15/2016 8:57 am

    Quoting missthee:
    I wish you courage and patience.
Thank you Missthee. I'll take an extra large helping of patience, please! It's been frustrating at times. Mom is home now. I don't know if that's good or bad yet. We'll see.

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BeccaLuvs 61F
20895 posts
12/27/2016 1:48 pm

So sorry to hear about your mum K - hope things have improved just a bit by now, and so sorry I didn't read this Blog of yours sooner. Have def missed you around but understand! Hope you had a good Christmas, and get to enjoy the rest of the Festive Hols?!

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kzoopair 73M/71F
25831 posts
12/27/2016 2:51 pm

    Quoting BeccaLuvs:
    So sorry to hear about your mum K - hope things have improved just a bit by now, and so sorry I didn't read this Blog of yours sooner. Have def missed you around but understand! Hope you had a good Christmas, and get to enjoy the rest of the Festive Hols?!
Thank you Becca- it's good to see you here. Yes, things have improved. My mom is feeling better now and is back at home for now.

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